The noise of the stupid default ring tone I have filled my ears. I try to open my eyes but can't so I just search for my phone with my hand. When I answer it I hear some girly screaming on the other end.
"Who is this?" I ask
"It's Hazel!" I hear her happily say
"And Monett" says a voice in the background
"Oh. hi. Why are you guys up so early?" I ask
"Because guess what!?" Hazel says
"What?" I ask
"I LOST MY VIRGINITY!" Monett screams
"WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS! YOUR 16!" I scream
"I thought you would be happy for me" she says
"I am. I just don't want you to do something you regret" I explain
"Gee thanks for the pep talk mom" she says
"I'm sorry I need to lighten up. So how was it?" I ask
"I'm not telling you" she says
"Why?" I ask
"Because me and hazel are coming over to your house in approximately 3 minutes and were gonna tell you all about it" she says
"Uhh ok just let me get dressed" I say
As I said that the doorbell rang and the call ended. Wow that was not 3 minutes.
"HEYYYYY" they say as they shower me with hugs
"Hiii" I say back
"Geez Naomi you could have at least gotten ready" Monett says "I'm just kidding I know we kind of barged in but anyways let's go to your room!" She says running up the stairs
Me and Hazel follow. When we all get situated I finally ask
"So how was it?" I ask
"IT WAS AMAZING! IT FELT SO GOOD AND HENRY IS SO PERFECT AND WERE SO IN LOVE" she says
"Wait it was with Henry?! What happened with you and Zac?" I ask
"Oh well you see I broke up with him because I'm pretty sure he has a thing for Loise. That skank" she says proudly
So now Lois has Dylan and Zac? Get it girl!
"How long have you and Henry been together?" I ask
"A month and two days. We had it on our one month anniversary" she explains
"Oh ok." I say "was it safe sex?"
"Oh yea totally. He has a drawer packed with condoms in his room." she says
"Well that's good." I say
"Did it hurt?" Hazel asks "and how big was it?!"
Oh my gosh Hazel.
"Yes it hurt a lot but it's okay because it felt great! AND IT WAS HUGE! LIKE AS BIG AS NAOMI'S DOGS THING!" Monett smiles
"WHOAH. THATS BIG" Hazel says
"Well I'm happy for you!" I say
"So what about you Naomi? Have you and Miles gotten serious yet?" Hazel asks
I smile when I hear his name.
"Oh well we've only been dating for about 2 weeks so not really" I say
"Has he at least gotten to touch you?" Monett asks
"Uhhh not really..." I say
Monett gasps.
"Well you need to get going missy!" Monett says
"So what have you guys done?" Hazel asks
"Well not much actually. We kiss a lot but that's pretty much it." I say
"Girl you need to explore new territory" Monett says
Yea no. Not any time soon.
"Ok..." I say
"Soo who do you have your eye on?" I ask hazel trying to change the subject
"DYLAN!" She screams "I know him and Louise kissed at Jacobs party but I actually think he likes me!" She says excitedly "his smile gives me mini orgasms and his personality makes my fallopian tubes dance with joy and gratitude!"
"Oh my gosh.... Your so weird" I say "But yea Louise can't have both Dylan and Zac. I think you and Dylan will make an adorable couple"
"Have you tried seducing him?" Monett asks
"Not yet. but when the right time comes, I will" she says
"I'm hungry" they both say simultaneously
We go get snacks from the fridge and go back upstairs to watch a movie. We watch "the wolf of wall street" and fan girl about Leonardo Dicaprio. He's so hot.
"HES SO HOT! HES LIKE 40 AND IM SOO TURNED ON!" Hazel screams
In the part where Leo Dicap was getting funky with a girl Hazel started to cry because she said she would never have him.
"It's ok Hazel. I bet his junk is old and wrinkly" Monett says trying to make her feel better
"No! I bet it's the perfect length, the perfect width, the perfect color, the perfect everything!" Hazel says sobbing into my pillow and getting mascara all over it.
"Hazel! He's probably a jerk! All of those celebrities are buttfuckers anyways" I say
"Buttfuckers?" Hazel says
"Yes." I say
"I know but he's just so hot and I want him" she whines
"Hazel honey.. are you on your period?" I ask
"Yea" she says
I come back to the room with pickles and chocolate. hazel doesn't say anything and stuffs two pickles in her mouth.
"Thanks" she says with her mouth full
"Your welcome" I say
"I think it's time to watch the notebook" Monett says
I pop the movie in and Hazel and Monett start obsessing over Ryan Gosling. Oh my gosh not again. my friends are weird.
YOU ARE READING
Love that feller teller: A Miles teller fan fiction
FanfictionNaomi's best friend is miles teller. He's the peanut butter to her jelly. They understand each other like no one else does. They're the perfect match. All Naomi needs to do is leave the friend zone.
