Before I Let You Go || Seonghwa x reader✓

16

Chapter 16 - Addicted

It's been 15 whole days since I've spoken to Seonghwa. A week and a day since I've announced we should have space.

I'm not gonna lie, it does kind of hurt.

But it's almost a needed hurt. I need it. I need to feel this way.

If feel a sense of relief if I imagine breaking up with him. However, I feel satisfaction if I imagine staying with and going through with the proposal.

Ah.

The proposal...

I groan and bury my face into my hands. It made everything ten times worse without meaning to. He's trying to make things better, I get that, but the way he is going about it doesn't settle right with me. Sure, I may be picky and judgemental every time I see his efforts, but how could I not? I've been cheated on. And I think I'm just expecting something better, something he could never possibly achieve in this lifetime.

Even I feel frustrated with myself.

Then, a loud knocking takes my attention. Is Seonghwa here...?

I swallow and take slow and careful steps to my front door. The cold door knob makes contact with my nervous hand, and I swing the door open in anticipation to see if it really is who I suspect.

Long story short: It's fucking not.

"Do you have a fucking death wish?!" I seethe.

Sana has her eyebrows knit together in guilt. "I know, I know. I just...can we talk...?"

I look past her and out into the street. "There's nothing to say. Unless you're talking about actions. Because actions speak louder than words, right?" I threaten. At this point, I can't tell if my words have any truth behind them. The time since I've found out she was the side chick has been filled with thoughts of everything but her. Maybe it's just an empty threat at this point.

She sighs. "Can I at least come in? I just want to talk."

"We can talk here."

Sana sighs again. "I..." She pauses. I raise an eyebrow in response and wait. But she appears to struggle with the formation of her sentence. "...I'm really sorry, Y/n. I swear I am. You were my best friend and I fucked up everything, I'm painfully aware of that."

I just stare at her. Somehow I can't even muster up a witty and degrading comeback. Because I feel pity toward this girl. "Is that all you came to say?"

"No...there's more. I just wanted to know that first. I really wanted to tell you my side..."

I stay silent for a moment, but then I open the door wider and nod my head in the direction of my living room. "Come in."

And within moments, she's sitting down across from me, palms sliding up and down her jeans in an attempt to ease her worries.

"I don't know what he's told you-"

"He hasn't told me anything." I cut her off.

"W-what?" She looks at me confused. "Like, nothing at all?" I shake my head. "No explanation?" I shake my head again. That oh so uncomfortable feeling is returning in my stomach again. "Ah, well. Okay...he uh...he came to me first...about almost a year ago..."