Before I Let You Go || Seonghwa x reader✓

11

Chapter 11 - Confrontation

This is where I can't contain any molecule of control; I'm about to fucking burst. Not even ten minutes after Sana left, I did as well.

I'm heading straight to Seonghwa's workplace.

And I'm confronting him.

The whole drive over, I was seething in rage and hatred. I've passed the point of crying.

Even my car door can feel the wrath I'm about to bestow upon Seonghwa. I look up at his workplace.

His office building is eight stories high and made of glass all the way around, allowing a good look at the outside world. I used to think it looked intimidating because of the seemingly highly sophisticated appearance, but now it looks worn and tarnished. And it looks tarnished because a certain piece of trash resides inside.

I march inside and walk past reception - who frantically tries to stop me with meaningless verbal warnings - and head into the break room.

He's not there.

He might be back in his office then.

And I was right.

I practically kick open his door making him jump in surprise and close the door behind me to allow some privacy.

But as I look at him, the courage and paralleling determination slowly diminishes. What I thought was gonna be easy turns out to be really, really hard. And that face I fell in love with makes sure to keep me weak.

"Y/n, what are you doing here?" He asks, eyebrows furrowed and concern swimming in his brown orbs. "Did something happen? I've been trying to contact you..." He makes a few hesitating steps toward me, but I step back in reply.

He notices this action of mine and frowns. "Baby...?"

I purse my lips. Why does he have to do that?! Why does he have to make this so damn difficult?!

He lets out a sad sigh. "Look, I'm sorry for calling you a bitch. It was in the heat of the moment and I didn't mean it-"

"Did you fuck Sana because it was in the heat of the moment too? Or you didn't mean that as well?" I spit out without thinking. I wanted this revelation to be executed differently so I could walk out of here feeling better once I end things, but oh well. The anger got the best of me as the feeling of crying comes back.

His eyes widen so big I think they would fall out of his head. "H-huh?"

I roll my eyes. "Don't play dumb. I know you can figure out what two plus two is, own up to it Seonghwa. You're a cheater. Flat out."

He lets out a shaky breath and steadies his balance. "...She tell you...?"

I scoff. "No, I actually found out on my own."

"Baby, I-"

"No, you don't get to call me that. Not anymore." Panic floods his face. He knows what's coming. "As soon as I walk out this door, you're a single man."

He can't even breathe properly anymore. "Hey, don't do that...Y-y/n, I called it off. We've been over for a while. It was a stupid mistake that went on for too long and I swear I love you. I do. I love you so fucking much."

"You loved me when you were fucking my best friend?"

"No! Wait yes!" He curses under his breath. "You're the one I want! What happened between Sana and I was only for sexual gratification. Nothing more."

I'm at a loss for words. He thinks that makes it better? "...So, what? I couldn't satisfy you in the way you desire?"

"You do, really."

I purse my lips. "Then give me a reason."

He shuts his eyes closed. Is he thinking about it? Either way, he's holding back an answer. But I'm tired.

Turns out I'm not past the point of crying. I feel hot tears bubble up and cloud my vision. "Do I not make you happy anymore? Couldn't you have just spoken to me like a normal human being? Do you know what I've had to go through these past few weeks after finding out you cheat on me?! So give me a fucking reason, Seonghwa!"

My teary eyes meet his teary ones. He has difficulty speaking, his mouth opening and closing only to stay silent. He's remorseful, I can see it reflecting on his now wet cheeks. He knows he fucked up. "I love you, Y/n. I do. I know it doesn't seem like it, especially now. I'm sorry for doing this to you, I know I made a huge fucking mistake. But please, please, don't leave me."

He takes a step toward me again, yet I don't step back this time. I don't know why, but I don't. He took it as a sign and stepped a few more, only a few inches separating us from full contact.

His hand makes its way to my face, stroking my cheek and wiping away the left over tears. No matter how much I hate to admit it, I miss his touch.

"I fucked up. I fucked up big-time." His voice is soft and gentle. "All you have been is faithful and a loving girlfriend. And I know I don't deserve you after this, but I still want you, so bad." Those words are exactly what I want to hear, but why doesn't it satisfy me?

He brings both of his hands to grab my dangling ones and picks them up to meet his lips. Chills burst in my spine and branch out through my back and into my body. "I know I have no right to ask you this, but please...give me another chance." I open my mouth to say something but he cuts me off out of fear that I'll reject him. "Let's make a deal, okay? I'll prove to you I still love and want you, I'll make each moment count with you for as long as I can, I'll make it all up to you. If you still want to break up with me despite that..then I will respect your wishes. But right now I want to hold onto you and let you know I love you... So what do you say...?"

I'm the biggest idiot there is.

I'm an idiot for falling in love with you.

I'm an idiot for falling in love with your words.

Long story short; I'm a grade A dumbass.

I want for us to work. I do. I really do. And maybe if we try, we could work out. But the hurt will always be there. Even if I forgive you, I'll never be able to forget. And that will ultimately get in the way of our happy ending.

I want to curse at you. I want to scream at you. But the words that come out of my mouth counter that.

"...Okay."

Yet again I have proven why I'm a grade A dumbass. I know I don't deserve this.

But I also know you are riddled with guilt.

I'll never fully heal from this experience, I know this.

I know what has to be done.

So, Seonghwa...

When I let you go, I hope we can move forward and be happy with our lives without being in each other's.