Neutral Touch (K.N.J)

열

"I know it seems hard right now..." she reaches for his face, and his dark, droopy eyes connect with her soul, and Hana's breath stops. 

She gulps before continuing. "It's okay to cry."

He shakes his head, but Hana gentle hands cup his neck, stroking the soft hairs around his nape. 

This was enough to cause the stronger man to break down. Jeongguk sinks his head in the crook of her neck, as his damp tear stick to her cold skin. His veiny hands firmly cup either side of her hips, bringing her closer.

"Please don't let me deal with this-" He chokes, squeezing her hips in the process.

Hana's face warmed up at the thought of being Jeongguk distraction. 

But she quickly reminds herself, that he's just using her. Just for one day. And then he'll be back with his girlfriend Jennie. Jeongguk would go back to hating her.

Jeongguk nose inhales her scent, as she shivers. Her nails gently rake through his scalp causing the younger to hum in delight.

Whatever this was, she was gonna make the most of it.

•••

Hye Jin stirs slightly, a warmth spreading to her shivering body. Her arm reaches for her phone that's normally sitting on her desktop. Her hand slams against nothing but a hard nightstand, feeling a slight difference in the design's texture.

She jerks awake, her eyes widening at the room that did not belong to her. She slows her breathing to calm herself but fails when she notices frames of another girl resting against the nightstand. As her eyes wandered to a picture of Namjoon and the same unfamiliar girl.

She slightly panics at the realization that she has slept on Namjoon's bed.

What if-

She ceases these thoughts before they can arise in her mind. She didn't want to think of the probability of being violated. At least not again.

She sits up, a thick, wool jacket slipping of her bare shoulders. The coat swallows her curvy frame, feeling like a secure protective cover instead of a boring piece of clothing.

She gives a small smile at that.

A smell of dark roasted coffee fills the air, forcing her to get up and walk to the kitchen.

Namjoon sat in a chair near the table, his eyes focus on a scrabble of numbers as he sips his coffee slowly.

Hye Jin smirked before cautiously striding to the man concentrating on such simple math figures.

"What's all of this?"

Namjoon hissed as he burned his tongue, getting slightly surprised at the girl's arrival. He thought she would still be sleeping for another hour.

He blows his tongue before he gestures for Hye Jin to sit. Hye Jin takes the only other chair, moving it further from the male's seat.

A mug of coffee is then placed in front of her. It was dark with two sugars. Confused, she wondered how he knew that small detail of her being lactose intolerant. She sipped her coffee watching the man gaze at her.

"If you haven't noticed I work as a construction worker."

Hye Jin rolls her eyes playfully, "Yeah, just a small detail for me to remember." She jokes.

He ignores her as she cooled her coffee with an exhale, "It wasn't my first choice, but I..."

He blushes, embarrassed by the fact, but decides to tell the truth, leaving out an important part. "I never finished school."

Her eyes widened, as she giggles. But Namjoon stare turns cold his eyes saddened with hurt. He turned his attention back to secondary school work.

Hye Jin suddenly feels like crap for laughing. She just didn't understand. He was a deep-thinker and unfathomably intelligent.

She clutches his hand, just as he struggles to finish a problem, "I'm sorry." She musters as much regret in her voice trying not to come off as pity. 

Namjoon frowns, his forehead distressed with wrinkles as he pulls back. His feelings for Hye Jin were getting deeper. He was starting to crave her sweet touch, her gentle words. He needed to end things. 

Hye Jin looks down at her lap,  immediately regretting her decision for coming off rude. He invited her but instead of thanking Namjoon, she pokes fun. 

She wraps an arm around her slender waist, tucking a hair behind her ear.

Namjoon opens his mouth before a ring from Hye Jin's phone interrupts him. 

Namjoon passes her the phone, a distasteful scowl on his face.  But Hye Jin doesn't question it.

Two voices simultaneously erupt through the speakers. "Hey, guys calm down. Please- Jeongguk your at Hana's house?" Hye Jin stands from her seat walking around the house, needing privacy. 

He angrily barks back before Hana's voice calms him. "I'm sorry, Hye Jin, but when are you coming back? I've been worried." Hana yells at him then Jeongguk sighs softly.

"We both been worried." He grits, annoyed more with Hana then his sister. 

Hye Jin's heart swells before cracking. She disappointed both of them; the people she truly cared about, "No, I'm sorry. I'll come home."

The phone is taken away, but Hana screams at Jeongguk as both bickers, "It's fine. You were there for me. Take your time," her voice is sad as she whispers, "Just remember to come back to the both of us. We need you here."

They all say their goodbyes,  before ending the call. Hye Jin slowly wipes away a tear she can't recall shedding.

The coat falls down her shoulders before Hye shimmies it back on.  She understood Hana. And Hana seemed to understand Hye Jin.

Hana once was a raging alcoholic a few years back. After college,  she'd developed a habit of drinking on the weekends and sobering up for work. Hye Jin knew Hana forever and to see her friend become addicted to a liquid drug as her life slowly ebbs away; it hurt her more than her parents walking out. 

To see someone struggle, to at first please everyone to now pleasing not even herself, was disconcerting. Hye Jin eventually got Hana, technically forced, Hana to rehab, which saved not only their friendship but Hana's life. 

"Hye Jin-" The voice murmurs, spooking the woman, as she turns around.

"Just my brother," she feels the need to explain to him.

Namjoon somehow made her feel... safe. Like the blanket-like jacket. His voice was a warm hug,  securing and validating every feeling she had.

She was falling for him.

Namjoon's eyes widen at loving expression etched onto these younger's face. No, he can't have this. 

He needed to save Hye Jin from himself. 

"Would you still care for me, if I killed someone for you?" Namjoon muttered a dark stare illuminating his intricate features.

His murderous hands clenched into fists as he inched closer to Hye Jin.  Her breathing quickens but she says nothing, feeling cornered by the man. 

"Would you ever love my dark side?" His eyes shift quickly between sinister to sad as his eyes traveled the dimensions of Hye Jin's worried face. 

Namjoon gulps as Hye Jin says nothing, his body trembling in anger, fear, and hurt. 

Or would you hate me for it? Because I hate myself every day because of what I am.