Ruthless Beauty

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

I was lost in the abyss of my thoughts so early in the morning. The white space of the wall I am staring at for ages is an epitome of my heart right now—blank and empty. And at the same time, a thousand thoughts are running inside of my head.

I miss my Mama.

Tumagilid ako, pinipilit na huwag tumulo ang mga luha. I bit my lower lip. There are random mornings when I wake up missing my mother and grandparents terribly. Sometimes, I'd wear her satin robe to feel what was left of her scent, her presence that has faded into painful memories when she died.

Nagtagal ako ng kalahati pang oras sa kama. It's Sunday morning and it reminds me so much of my mother. If she's still alive, she'd wake me up and will take me to the farmer's market. She'll shop for herbs and tea and will host a mini tea party with her closest friends, talking about books and politic and the fashion industry. With her, she proved that a woman can talk politics and not appear to be condescending.

Pagpatak ng alas nuebe ay kinatok na ako ng isa sa mga kasambahay namin kaya napilitan akong bumangon. I wrapped the robe tighter around my frail body and padded towards the door. Bumungad sa akin ang nakangiting mukha ni Manang Joji. But I can see in her eyes that she's worried about me.

"Dinala ko nalang ang pagkain mo dito. Nauna nang kumain ang Papa mo at si Valerie."

I nodded and murmured a thanks. Ipinasok ko ang inabot niyang tray sa akin na may lamang pagkain. I stared at the toasted garlic bread, pasta, and a glass of orange juice, suddenly realizing that I don't have the appetite to eat this morning.

Sumilip ang isang manipis ngunit sobrang itim na usok sa aking bintana. I frowned. No one burns anything within the property. And the sight of a mere smoke scares me, after witnessing the raze that killed my mother months ago.

Dali-dali akong bumaba at nagtungo sa likod ng mansion. There, I found one of the housekeepers burning some things in a huge drum. Medyo kinabahan ako nang maramdaman niya ang presensiya ko at nilingon ako.

"Ano po yang sinusunog niyo?"

"Utos ni Ma'am Valerie. Basura na daw." Tila bored niyang sagot sa akin.

My mouth dropped when I saw the familiar lace of my first pair of ballet shoes inside the drum. Mabibilis ang mga hakbang ko kasabay ng malakas na kabog ng puso. I couldn't be wrong...

"Mga gamit ko ho to!" I almost exclaimed.

Tila wala siyang narinig at itinapon ang isa ko pang damit sa loob ng drum. I found the near-empty bag, probably full of my clothes and other stuff.

"Teka lang po. Gamit ko po kasi ang mga 'to—"

"What are you doing here, Savannah?"

I shut my eyes tightly. I don't ever want to hear her voice so early in the morning but she's here again. When I turned, she's cocking an eyebrow at me, watching me under her scrutinizing eyes.

"Pinasunog mo ang mga gamit ko?" I tried to ask calmly, and reminded myself that I need to watch my temper or I'm gonna lose it every time I speak with Valerie.

"Oo. May problema ba?"

Marahas akong suminghap. I know she's not stupid, and that she's doing it to trigger me. And I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of my heartbreak. Seeing her burn my first ballet shoes and the rest of my clothes is her declaration of war.

If it's a full-blooded battle that she wanted, I'm going to fight her quietly. Quiet, but not weak.

Gusto kong maiyak sa ginawa niya. Tumalikod nalang ako at naglakad pabalik sa mansion. I was upset, and a frown etched on my face when a car honked outside the gate. Pinanuod ko ang isa sa mga lalaking kasambahay na pagbuksan ang gate. An unfamiliar car drove slowly inside. Huminto ito nang makapasok ang kalahati ng sasakyan sa gate. I watched as a young woman climbed out of the car with a kind look on her face. Then she circled and opened the other door, helping my father get out as well.