Just a Kiss Series

Chapter Three: One Drunken Night

Three months later...

(Lukas)

Time has been going by fast since Ryan moved in. I never realized how much I could have in common with someone before. It kind of makes me questions why I never met him before and became friends. He's a fun person to be around and I actually feel comfortable around him to be myself. All the weirdness has gone down since I first met him but that doesn't mean I don't still have a crush on him

Ryan makes my heart race whenever I'm around him, talking to him or even thinking about him. I've had butterflies in my stomach every single day since he first moved in. I'm starting to feel like I'm in high school all over again with my first crush. I do know though I shouldn't rush into anything because what if I do and everything goes down hill?

Sometimes I wish I could stop these feelings I have for him when I know I will probably never have a chance at being with him. Someone that would only break my heart in a million pieces like all the other times before. That is the last thing I need right now is a repeat of what happened in high school.

***

Flashback:

Six Years Earlier...

I open the door to the guest bedroom in Travis's house pushing Razor inside before he realizes no one is actually inside. "Hey come on I can't even see it's dark. Turn on the light." I hear Razor say as I shut the door behind me. "Is this a joke?" he asks as I walk towards him barely able to see him in the darkness.

"No, it's not a joke." I say stopping in front of him trying to catch my breath from how nervous I am at this very moment. I know it's now or never as I lean in pulling him closer to me and kissing him on the lips.

The kiss is nothing like I planned for it to be and is over within seconds as Razor pulls away. "What are you doing?" he asks shocked by what just happened.

"Showing you how I feel about you, how I have felt for years." I reply as I try to pull him back but I lose my grip on his arm.

"What are you talking about? This is a joke right?" he asks walking passed me towards the door. His words feeling like a stab in the heart. Does he really think I would joke about something like this? I've liked him for a while and finally got the guts to tell him and he is treating this like a joke?

As he turns the light on I finally answer, "No, I like you Razor I always have."

"So the whole time you were talking about me?" he asks. "I've told you I don't like guys and never will Lukas."

"Yeah but-" I say before getting cut off.

"But nothing Lukas it's that simple we're never going to happen. I can't believe you would even try something like that. I have to go don't worry I'll get a ride from someone else."

I stand in the middle of the empty bedroom as I watch Razor race out in such a hurry to get away from me. Not once looking back and seeing how heartbroken I am. The tears rushing down as I'm left lost for words. I knew all along Razor didn't like guys but I thought maybe I could be an exception.

Maybe he could like me back just as much as I like him. Maybe we could be more than best friends and we could be happy together. After all how does he know for sure he doesn't like guys? How does he know he couldn't love me if he never tried?

I guess none of that matters now does it? Razor made it loud and clear he doesn't like me and never will. I'll always just be his best friend and nothing more. Or am I even his friend now?

How could we stay friends when I could probably never look him in the eyes again? How can I hang out with him now and pretend like everything is alright? How can I hide the pain he caused by shattering my heart into a million pieces? Why did I even have to fall in love with him in the first place?

I must have been delusional to believe my own lies and false hopes. Everything I had planned to confess my feelings to Razor and hopefully have him fall in love with me didn't happen. The exact opposite happened and now I'm left without a best friend. If loving someone is going to hurt this bad then I don't want to ever fall in love again.

***

I shove the memory back deep inside not wanting to ruin my night by thinking about the past. Anyway I can't change anything and maybe that's for the better. I moved miles away from my past and I got to meet Ryan. And for the most part Ryan and I have been getting along just fine. We've gotten to know each other a lot better and we have actually become good friends.

I somehow even managed to get June to like him when she was so convinced she never would. For some weird reason she thought Ryan was too perfect so there is bound to be something wrong with him. I honestly can't see anything bad with Ryan. I don't even think he has any flaws because he's so perfect. He is everything I would want in my dream guy it's a little scary. How can someone be so perfect and not be taken already? Is there something wrong with him I can't see?

I only know he's single because he told me the day he moved in. Plus I never see him hanging out or talking to anyone else besides me. Other than work and spending his days off with my friends and I Ryan doesn't have a big social life. I think its mostly because he has walls up not wanting to get hurt I can only assume. I don't blame him though if that's the reason because I've been hurt before and know how it feels. Hopefully though maybe he can trust me and I can really get to know him.

"What are you thinking about?" Ryan asks walking back into the living room with two drinks in hand and sitting next to me on the couch.

"About what was taking you so long. Should I be scared to drink this?" I ask taking it from Ryan's hand.

"Very funny. Do you really think I would have to put something in your drink to get you in bed?" he replies.

"I don't know." I reply suddenly becoming embarrassed by what Ryan said. How am I suppose to respond to something like that when deep down I have a crush on him?

"So are we going to play the game or not?" Ryan finally says changing he subject back to the video game on the tv screen.

"Yeah are you ready to lose?" I reply knowing he'll probably win.

"Oh you're on." he says with a grin.

I take another drink before the game starts knowing I should probably slow down. I don't want to do something I might regret just because I'm drinking. Then again it's not like anything is going to happen.

***

Five hours later...

"Truth or dare?" I ask Ryan as I sit on the couch looking into his eyes. God he eyes are so amazing. What's wrong with me? I need to stop and focus on something else, anything else.

"Truth ask me anything." he says.

Anything? Why did he have to say that? Now I have a million questions going through my mind that I have been wanting to ask him."Have you ever liked someone you only knew for a short period of time?"

"Yeah, why have you?" he replies.

"Maybe," I answer biting my bottom lip nervous as how this is going to play out. It can either be good or bad and I'm hoping on good right now.

"Are you going to tell me who?" he questions.

"What would you say if I said I liked you?" I reply back.

"Then I would say I like you too." he says as he leans in kissing me on the lips. I know it's the alcohol in the both of us and we should stop but I don't want to. I don't want this to end so I kiss him back instead. Getting lost in the moment of passion not once thinking if this might be a mistake.