my little secret ; lana del rey (DISCONTINUED)

21

I sit there as my friends stare at me, cheeks bright red and my hands sweating. How did they even get in here?. And how has Lana come back into my life like this again.

"Do you mind?" Lana asks, looking at them questioningly whilst they stare at us with shocked expressions.

why is this happening to me right now.

"yes i do mind" kelsey says sarcastically.

"i can't believe you two are actually a thing omg!" Lucas says excitedly, lighting the mods slightly as my other friends join him and jump in excitement. "we're gonna be rich guys".

I stand up and pace the room back and forth as Kelsey watches everyone in shock. She grabs hold of my hand.

"please lucy, i love you" she whispers to me emotionally. i haven't seen this side of her in a while and it's actually quite heartbreaking. she holds onto my hands tightly and looks into my eyes with sadness.

"you know i love you to kels, but i can't do this, i'm just going to run back to her again, i can't control it and i don't want to hurt you even more" I whisper back, my heart breaking in two. Kelsey has been in my life for a long time and we have been together once when drugs was influenced. if we were meant to be we would have been by now.

she looks at me and nods, letting go of one of my hands and wiping her tear from her cheek. "i don't wanna lose you because your one of my favourite people on this earth, but i can't be around you anymore because seeing you both together will kill me" Kelsey tells me. now i'm crying too.

"don't leave" i say selfishly.

"it's best for both of us" she replies. she's right.

"i really hope you find somebody that will treat you good because you deserve it" I tell her and she smiles. She wipes my tears with her hand and kisses my cheek.

"and as much as i don't like her and would rather have you to myself, i hope you two work out because you deserve that. i know she loves you" she says and i smile.

We turn back to our friends, still holding hands, they have been watching us the entire time.

"we love you both and we hope that after all of this you will reunite in a few years time and be there for each other as friends, hopefully happy in relationships, maybe married" Danielle says, pulling us into a a group hug.

I look over Danielle's shoulder and see Lana sat on the bed smiling at us all. I release one of my arms that's around Danielle and motion for her to join us. She rolls her eyes and smiles, before rushing over and joining the hug.

that went better than i expected.

"anyway, i better go, my name is being called somewhere" Kelsey interrupts, distancing herself from the hug. we all look at her and smile.

"love you girl" amy announces.

Kelsey looks at me one last time and smiles before exiting the room. who knows when i'll see her again, and if i will see her again.

"well this has been the weirdest thing i've ever experienced" Lucas tells everyone and we laugh in agreement.

"did you actually have a stomach ache?" Danielle asks me.

I laugh and shake my head. "did i fuck". everyone laughs.

"anyway i'm going bed" amy says and exits the room with dan and Lucas following her.

lana faces me and smiles, "i'll let you get some rest" she says, pushing my hair behind my ear. I wrap my arms around her shoulder and hug her tightly. she rubs my back in comforting circles.

"actually no, i'm staying with you in here" she says changing her mind. i pull away from the hug and smile.

"ok".

I grab a t shirt for her from my closet and get myself one too. I enter my bathroom and get changed in their allowing us to both have some privacy. I take my makeup off and brush through my hair, before brushing my teeth and heading back into the room.

Lana is already in bed waiting for me, i smile and crawl in next to her, leaving some distance between us both. she still makes me nervous to this day.

"what are you doing?, come here" she says and pulls my body into hers. her warmth surrounds me and i immediately feel safe and content.

i love her