my little secret ; lana del rey (DISCONTINUED)

15

It's later on now, the support act has finished and lana is due to come on in 5 minutes. I've never been so nervous, i'm scared to see her again but i'm also scared that if she sees me she might fuck up her performance. The main lights go off and the stage lights up red and blue with a big sign saying 'del rey' at the back. Her mic stand is right in front of us covered in lights, i'm not going to lie it looks amazing. The music starts and the sound of ride fills me ears. There she is, running into the stage, blowing kisses at her fans, huge smile on her face. It's quite weird seeing her like this, with a massive stage and thousands of people watching her, i've only ever seen her play to like 30 people. She begins singing, her voice has improved so much from where it was.

Ride was always one of her favourite songs when I met her. I remember when she first wrote it and played it in the car, everyone loved it. I watch her squeeze her eyes shut as she sings the chorus, her emotions running free. The crowd singing loudly back to her. Kelsey puts her arm round my shoulder noticing i'm just stood here staring.

"Hey babies" Lana says into the mic after finishing her first song. The crowd screams and the occasional person shouts I love you Lana. "I'm happy to be home with all you beautiful angels, i just want to say something quickly because it's important, bare with me tonight if i'm a bit slow i'm just going through some shit, i'm sure you all heard about my stalker than recently just went to prison it kind of messed with me a little bit, but don't worry i'm happy i'm all good and i love you guys, this next song is called American" Lana's soft voice fills the arena and the crowd screams as American begins playing. I sing a long quietly because i can't not, but it does feel really weird. I look at my friends who are dancing and signing at the top of there lungs, well at least there enjoying themselves. American finishes and Lana comes and sits at the edge of the stage, right in front of me and my friends, like if i reached my arm out right now i could touch her. Her hand reaches out and my friend excitedly holds it.

"So who's ever had a person in there life that you love unconditionally and you'd do anything for them?" Lana's speaks, looking around at the crowd. The fans scream making Lana smile. "Then this songs for you guys". The piano begins and video games starts. This song is the first ever song I heard of Lana, when she looked at me in the crowd because i wasn't dancing. She looks towards the front of the crowd and lays her eyes on me for the first time during this show. A wave of nervousness fills my body as she leaves her eyes on me. Kelsey has noticed and tries to comfort me but i shake my head at her for her to stop. Lana reaches her hand out for someone to hold but purposely puts it in my direction. My friends motion for me to hold her hand and Lana still hasn't looked away from me. Fuck it. I reach my hand out and hold onto hers, she intertwines our fingers and smiles lightly, continuing to sing. Her hand is all warm and kind of sweaty but it's all good. The feel of her skin sends memories to my head and butterflies explode in my stomach. The song finishes and she finally lets go of my hand and looks away from me but jumps down off stage and comes towards us. She motions for me and my friends to lean forward as she leans into us, "you guys stay here when the show finishes, i'll come and get you" She whispers into our ears, i feel her breath on me making me shiver. She looks at me and smiles before going back on stage and starting her next song.

The show has ended and the fans are starting to depart quickly out of the arena to beat the traffic. Despite me being a nervous wreck the entire time the show was good and Lana did really well. "Are you sure your ok staying?" Amy shouts to me. "I think we should just go" Kelsey says. I understand why she said that, Lana did get in her way last time when she was trying to get me back but it's not going to happen again. "Yeah let's stay" I tell them. Kelsey turns and faces me with a frown on her face, "you'll have to talk to her and see her" Kelsey tells me. "What if it's too much for you".
"I can't avoid her forever Kels" I tell her and she slowly nods her head. Me and Kelsey aren't together, but we have been going on dates and spending a lot of time together and it's going pretty good.

Half an hour passes and the arena is empty, all the fans have left it's now just us. We keep getting told to leave from the security because they don't believe us that Lana wants us to stay. Lana walks back onto stage and smiles when she sees we have stayed. She comes to the stage gate and gets the security to let us in which he does. Lana brings us onto the stage and let's us look out to all of the seats. It's huge, she must be terrified. "Lucas get a photo of us" Lana says to a guy, he must be her photographer. I stand in between Lucy and Kelsey who both put their arms around me, i think Lana wanted me to come next to her cause she keeps looking for me but oh well. "Let's go backstage while the guys take the stage down" Lana tells us and leads us. My friends definitely want to scream and jump up and down because there with Lana, their trying there best to act cool but their shit at it. She brings us into her dressing room and gives us all a drink. "Anyway i've not even said hi properly yet, give me hugs" Lana says and hugs my friends first before reaching me.

"I honestly never thought i'd see you again" Lana tells me, looking at me admiringly. "Me neither" I say softly. She smiles and pulls me into a tight hug, burying her head into my neck. Her familiar scent fills me nose making me feel like i've never left her. Our hug lasts slightly longer than the others but I pull away so my friends don't start getting confused. Lana notices my necklace and holds the L in her hand. "You still wear it?" She asks smiling. I nod and she smiles again before letting go.

"Oh lana" I say and motion for her to come closer. "My friends are huge fans but their trying to play it cool" I whisper into her ear. She looks up at me and laughs before going over to my friends. "You know you guys don't have to play cool, if you wanna fan girl then do it" She laughs watching them all shake with excitement. "I love you so fucking much Lana" Lucas announces causing everyone to laugh. "I love you to" She laughs.

I notice Lana looking at me with a smile on her face. "Wait when did you get a tattoo" Lana says coming over running her finger on my small tattoo that says 'art' on my chest. "Last year, I have 2" I say showing her my other one that says lover on the side of my hand. She shows me her hands where she has tattoos in the same place as mine.

"I'm sorry to interrupt guys, but can we go soon we have to drive back and me and Amy have class tomorrow" Kelsey says, looking at mine and Lana's interaction. "Your in college now too?" Lana asks me, letting go of my hand. "Yeah, here in LA" I tell her. "That's so cool, what are you studying?" She asks again.
"I'm doing arts, so like photography, drawing, graphics, all that shit" I tell her.

"I don't wanna leave, me, dan and luce don't have class tomorrow" Lucas says wrapping his pride flag round his waist. Lana sits down on her couch and pats the spot next to her for me. I sit down and Lucas decides to squash on next to me. "Who's car did you come in?" Lana asks. "Lucy's" Amy says. "I'll get my driver to take you 2 home so these guys can stay with me" Lana tells Kelsey and Amy and leaves the room to get her driver.

"Lucy" Kelsey says and motions for me to come to the corner of the room. I stand up and walk to her. "Come home with me" She whispers so nobody else listens. "What are you so worried about Kels?" I whisper back to her as Lana and her driver enter the room. Kelsey shakes her head at me. "Come with me" She says again, i can tell she's getting pissed off and i know Lana is watching us right now. I shake my head making her frown.

"He said he will take you, so it's just 2 of you right, Lucy you staying?" Lana asks me. I look at Kelsey and give her an apology look but then walk back to Lana. "Yeah i'm staying" I tell her. Kelsey shakes her head and walks out the room, "let's go then" she says sounding pissed off. "Bye guys, thank you Lana" Amy says, giving Lana a hug. "Amy, make sure she's ok" I say pointing to the door where Kelsey went. Amy nodded and leaves the room.