Skin Deep

17 - Revelations

"We can work things out.." Sana didn't think Momo would deny her suggestion. But she did and she was sitting in her shared apartment with an ex.

"Honestly.. I'm both angered and understand where she's coming from." Sooyoung sighed after listening to Sana's hour long rant.

"I knew you would—what?" Sana stopped in her tracks, looking at Sooyoung.

"I'm angry that one, she denied your offer, and two that you want to move out so fast." She started. "And I also see where she's coming from. She doesn't want to hurt you." She shrugged her shoulders. Sana let out a frustrated groan. Sooyoung fell back in the couch and held out her hand. "Come here you big baby." She laughed.

Sana walked over, settling herself on Sooyoung's lap. She rested her head on her shoulder letting the older girl comfort her.

"I just wish there was someone I could see for all of this. Someone who can tell me when all of this is going to be fixed." Sana admitted.

Even though both girls had broken ties with each other, they decided to stay friends. Both of them enjoying the company.

"If that were possible I would demand to know why." Sooyoung glared at the ceiling. "Why. Why do we have to suffer." She sighed. Sana nodded in agreement. Why them?

"Do you think we did something horrible.. and this is punishment?" Sana whispered.

"My soulmate killed himself at the sight of me. I've been depressed ever since." Sooyoung frowned. "So I doubt I did anything bad." She scoffed. Sana frowned, knowing she had done terrible things. "What about you?" She asked. Sana took in a deep breath. Afraid of what would happen if she told the truth. But maybe she had to come clean... let the universe clear itself.

"I cheated." Sana whispered.

"What?" Sooyoung lifted her head to look back at Sana.

"I cheated." She repeated.

"Oh I knew that already." She went back to looking at the ceiling, completely dismissing her remark.

"You knew I cheated on my final?" Sana raised an eyebrow at her.

"WHAT." Sooyoung gasped. "I THOUGHT YOU MEANT THE OTHER KIND." She shouted.

"I NEVER TOLD YOU THAT EITHER HOW DID YOU KNOW?!" Sana screamed while standing up from the couch. Both girls looked at each other, neither saying a word.

"Okay... You cheated on your final... let's talk about that." Sooyoung finally spoke after minutes of silence.

"I'd much rather discuss how you know I cheated on you." Sana quickly stated. Sooyoung took in a deep breath and groaned.

"You woke me up, sobbing. I tried to comfort you but you were sleeping... and you told me you couldn't take it anymore. And then told me you slept with Momo." Sooyoung explained. "After you told me that you went back to bed." She frowned.

"Oh." Sana cursed herself for never getting her sleeping habits checked.

"So when this appeared... I was hurt yes... surprised? No." She admitted. Sana saw the hurt in her eyes. It killed her that she had done such a thing. All on an impulse..

"You know I still love you right?" Sana sat back down, taking Sooyoung's hand in hers. "Just... my heart is with someone else." She sighed.

"I know." She sniffed. "Honestly.. I don't even want to find this new person whoever they are.. I just want to stay where I am... not worry about anything."

The two stayed on the couch, talking about their worries and doubts. Sana felt only a little better for coming clean with her. She still felt terrible for making her feel the way she did.

"She hasn't peeled?" Sooyoung asked.

"Nope. And she won't. Her family can't." Sana explained.

"Disgusting." She gagged. "Okay. So you've slept with her, kissed her, hugged her. Have you told her you loved her?" She sighed. Sana shook her head. "Wait. You guys did everything but that?" She gawked.

"Why is that the frowned upon thing?!" Sana pushed her lightly, earning a laugh from her friend.

"Just that people usually say they love you first. Then they get into the nasty things." She shrugged. "We did." She smirked.

"Stop." Sana laughed, her face turning a shade of red.

"Oh come on. You can't say that it wasn't the best." She continued to tease Sana, laughing as she did so. "I think you should tell her." She finally calmed down, smiling at her.

"Really?" Sana looked up at her elder, who shrugged in response. "So helpful."

"Hear me out. If you haven't said it before, it'll mean a lot now. She's obviously too afraid of hurting you because of the reconnecting. It still hurts right?" She asked. Sana nodded. "Exactly. Maybe if you admit that you love her, to yourself and her, it'll go away." She shrugged once again. "Maybe you'll die. But we will never know won't we?" She added.

"You're so rude." Sana hit her with a small pillow, laughing at her.

"You love me." She smirked.

"A little less everyday." Sana joked.

Sana laid in bed that night going over her words. Maybe it would stop hurting if she said those words to Momo. She glanced over at the other side of the bed, seeing Sooyoung already asked next to her. Both of them had spent months together.. but her and Momo were connected. She couldn't deny that she still loved Sooyoung. But she knew deep down she really loved Momo.

"Hey..." Sana whispered, shaking her roommate awake.

"Hm." She mumbled. 

"I'm cold. Hold me." Sana frowned at her. Still half asleep, Sooyoung opened her arms allowing Sana to snuggle into her side and chest. "Thank you." Sana sighed.

"Mm." Sooyoung mumbled in her sleep. Sana smiled at her sleeping friend. At least they were still on good terms..