Honest

31

  I been through the storm
Had dirt on my name
I'm still holding on
Champion of the game (they said)
Whatever don't kill you make you stronger
Well, I must be the world's strongest woman
See I done done a whole lotta growin'
Everything you say I'm already knowin'
Cuz I...
I been up against ropes
Everything you're going through
I been there before
Seen them all come
And I seen them all go
You can bet your last that my head won't hit the floor
Never
I'm still standing
—

  Continuation of last chapter..

   Arriving back at the apartment, Deja stayed next to Mason as they made their way inside, gently holding on to his arm.

She still hadn't told him what was said by Pastor Brown, because she was still struggling to comprehend it. She was definitely hurt by the words that were thrown at her, and she was trying to decipher whether or not there was truth in them or not. She didn't know if what that lady said was based off of her own opinions, or if they were actually the words of God. And she was afraid of how Mason would react if she told him. Would he leave? Would he believe that Deja wasn't the one for him if that's what Julie said? Or would he actually stay and defend her?

"Baby... talk to me." Mason said, breaking her out of her thoughts. "What happened?"

"I um... I think it was a mistake for me to want to talk to someone." She mumbled. "Nobody is going to willingly listen to what I have to say and not judge me for it. So let's just forget about it."

"What do you mean?" He frowned. "Did she judge you?"

"Well... we didn't really get to talk much." She mumbled again, speaking so low that he could barely hear her. "We kept getting off topic."

"How?" He asked, making her sit on the couch next to him.

"Why haven't you been going to church lately?" She asked him, avoiding the question he asked her. "Is it because of me?"

"What?" He frowned. "No."

"Are you sure?"

"Deja." He said, making her look at him. "I haven't been to church because I haven't been wanting to go. That decision has nothing to do with you or anybody else but me. There's more to life than sitting in a church full of people that are full of themselves and only there to make themselves look better than the next person. What have I been doing every Sunday that I'm not at the church?"

"You're with me." She frowned at him. "Or at the gym."

"Whenever I'm with you, it's me taking care of you and making sure that you're good. And if you want my whole reason, it's because Jocelyn still goes to that church, and as long as she's there, then I won't be. I won't put myself next to someone who disrespected you, hates you, and seems sketchy to me. I don't like her and I refuse to create a negative energy inside a house of worship."

"And... what about your faith in God?" She asked him slowly. "Has it changed?"

"Yes." He shrugged. "It has. A lot."

"Why?"

"I don't know, Deja." He stressed. "It just has. Why do you care so much?"

"Because I want to make sure I'm not the reason behind it." She said, taking him by surprise.

"Why do you keep thinking that you're the reason for everything?" He frowned.

"I just need to know, Mason. Am I changing you?"