[41] Guilt

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It's been two months since Aubrey's run-in with the Colombians. I took Lorenzo's advice and spoke to the leader of the Colombians, I assured them I'd stop messing with their shipments and I'd drop all investigations into them as long as they leave well enough alone and they don't come after my family again. I also reminded them if they go back on their word, just how many alliances I've formed with other leaders and that it won't end well for them. 

In these last two months, we haven't heard a thing from them. I've stuck to my word and I've stopped messing with the shipments, but that's only because I know Lorzeno is holding up his end of the deal on the other side. 

Aubrey is currently four and a half months pregnant, and she's finally starting to show. She's still been very lucky as far as having no symptoms, but she tends to become a little more emotional about things, and sometimes she snaps at me, but most of the time I probably deserve it. 

Last month we found out that I was in fact correct again, we're having a baby girl and we have a few names picked out already, we're both very excited, I can't wait to be a dad. 

Much to my dismay, she's still been going into work each day, it's not that I don't want her working, I just wish she'd do it from home. When she's at the bar and I'm in the office, I spend most of my time worrying about her safety.

She tells me not to worry and that I've trained her well enough to protect herself, but I still worry, I'll always worry. But I also know she's right, as much as I want to some days, I can't lock her in the house for the rest of her existence. 

Knock knock 

"Coming," I call and stand up from my office desk, making my way over to the door. Once I reach I unlock it and a second later Aubrey pushes it open and grabs me pulling me closer pressing a kiss to my lips with a smile.

"Hi baby." 

"Hey." I say surprised and take a step back. 

She stands at the door for a moment "Can I come in, or?" she bites down on her bottom lip 

"Yeah, of course, you can, sorry, I just wasn't expecting you." I hold the door open for her and close it behind us 

"Not the girlfriend you wanted to see huh?" she jokes 

"Ha," I laugh fakely and make my way over to the desk, shutting the lid of my laptop quickly.

"East, I was joking." she looks at me strangely "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine Sweetheart, just have a lot to do." 

"Oh," she looks around the room "Well I was hoping we could go and grab some lunch?" 

"Uh, today isn't really a good day, I have a lot to do like I said." 

"Okay." she sighs softly "Well, I guess we'll go just the two of us." She places her hand on her bump with a soft smile 

"Sweetheart I'm sorry, It's not that I don't want to, I just-"

"Have a lot of work to do." she finishes my sentence

"I'll see you later at home?" 

"I'll be there." She says sadly and heads for the door 

"Aubrey." I grab her by the arm gently and pull her back to me. "I love you." 

"I love you." she gives me a half-smile 

She leaves the room and closes the door after her. The second she's gone I lock the door once more and make my way back to the laptop opening 

That was close. 

"I know you didn't hang up on me just now." My webcam opens once more, Maddie appearing on the screen one more 

"Sorry, Aubrey turned up and she almost caught me" 

"You know I'm charging you by time right? And I'm a very busy girl babe."

"Yeah, yeah, where were we?" 


I arrive home to the sweetest sound, Aubrey giggling softly in the lounge room. I make my way into the room and smile softly, watching her from the door. She has her hand on my bare stomach, her shirt pulled up and she's running her fingers across her bump gently while singing softly

"You like that huh?" She smiles at her bump and does it again 

"If this wasn't the cutest thing I've ever seen I may just think you're insane." I laugh softly

She looks to me with a smile and holds out her hand "She's moving around like crazy tonight, come and feel." 

I make my way over to the couch quickly and sit down next to her. She takes my hand and places it on her stomach, a moment later I feel the tiniest kick against my hand. "How long has she been doing this?" I ask with a smile 

"The last couple of days, but you haven't been home to feel it the last couple of times so I didn't mention it, I didn't want you to feel like you're missing out." 

"I'm sorry I'm home late again Sweetheart, and every other night"

"It's okay, you're working I understand." she says with an honest smile "I'm sorry for getting upset in your office this afternoon, I just miss you and I wanted to spend some time with you and you know pregnancy hormones and all of that."

I press a kiss to her lips "Believe me, I miss you, and" I move my lips from hers and kiss her stomach "I hate missing out on things like this." I place my hand back on her stomach and begin talking to it like she'd been doing. 

"I'm sorry I haven't been home looking after you and Mummy, but I'm going to try really, really hard to be home more." 

Aubrey smiles as our daughter kicks once more "Keep going, she's moving again." 

"Daddy loves you sooooo much." I kiss her stomach once more before moving back 

"You're sweet baby." Aubrey smiles at me lovingly, then rubs her stomach looking down at it once more "You have the best daddy in the entire world, we're so lucky"

The guilt hits me hard. I have a beautiful girlfriend who loves me beyond anything and a baby girl on the way who I can't wait to meet and I've taken it them both for granted, I've really messed up this time.


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