I am the Skeleton in the Closet

Writers Note

Once we reached a certain level of kinship Steph gave me a necklace. A matching set from our favourite show, the first thing we bonded over. They were both dark painted rings looped onto a balled chain and inscribed with Family don't end with blood. At the time the grammar set me off kilter and I took the quote at face value. Don't take family for granted, don't cut ties with family, don't forsake family, keep family close, and make sure you always have each others back. For lack of a better way to phrase it, don't let family end with blood.

But then I watched as Sarah became closer to her than Kathy. Sarah, who wasn't blood related at all. Who she hadn't known for most of her life and then there was me, who she'd known even less about. Somehow, for some reason, she was picking us over people she had known for her whole life. People she'd grown up with. People who should have known more about her and done more with her to make a much greater bond than Sarah or I could have ever hoped to be a part of. People who shared her blood. Yet she chose us and I realized how similar we really were. How similar Kathy and Dawn were.

Family don't end with blood.

The quote wasn't about the necessity of family by blood. It's about the necessity of family in general. Family, typically defined as a set of parents and children, can also be defined as a group of people united by certain beliefs, amongst other commonalities, that create a feeling of togetherness. The definition of fellowship, an adjective of friendship.

Family isn't always who you're assigned at birth. Just because they share some sort of genetic line doesn't make them family. Family is who you go to when you're in pain. Who you turn to when you have no one else. When everyone else gives up, they stick around no matter what. Family can hurt and family can hate, but at the end of the day family is still loving with no regrets. They hold nothing over your head and they encourage even with the odds stacked against you. You can go to them without fear and above all they let you be yourself.

Don't be fooled. Every choice you make is your own just as every consequence. Skating through life taking what's given is a choice, but stacking your own deck is a skill to be learned. So don't look back on what was thinking of what you could change, look forwards so you can see the punches and roll with them.

Above all, remember that the people you have in your life are just that, people. People can hurt, people can love, people can help, and people can hate, but the only ones that matter to you are the ones that you let matter. Don't go through life thinking that everything just is how it is because it isn't. You just tricked yourself into believing it is.