today i texted you that i missed you. i know you read it, but you still have not replied.
i think about it, a lot.
i'm not the type of person to freak out when someone does not reply in an instant. i know people are busy. i'm not that fond of social media and how it occupies and literally takes over someone's life.
but i know that you saw it, i know that you read it. but you still do not want to answer me.
and it kills me. i rips my mind apart. it sucks out every little bit of air i have left in my lungs. you kill me.
why can't you just fucking tell me you hate me. that you don't want me anymore. that you don't even like me. anything would not hurt as much as you ignoring me.
do i deserve this? i probably do. i'm not even blaming you, how could I? you know I love you. you must also know how much it kills me that you decide to ignore me.
the only thing i have left to do is wait until maybe you do decide one day to text me back. to say you hate me. to say you don't want anything to do with me. to say that you're sorry and that you miss me.
i could make up a thousand possible scenarios, and nothing is going to happen until it happens.
i am going to sit here and wait.
there is no distraction. there is no way out. i know that from now on, anything that i'll do, anything that is going to happen to me, is not going to happen without me thinking about you. about how you would react if i told you about it. how would you? and what would you say?
you're this gentle layer over my reality.
and there's no escape from it. until the end of time. until then, i can only wait.
