Was It Love Or Anger?[JenLisa](Complete)

III|What Have I Done?|

Lisa's POV*

It's been 3 years. 3 years of searching and finding. I even asked Jackson again for help, but even he can't seem to find the last time she used her passport publicly. Which meant she took her private plane. Even Jackson couldn't find planes and Pilots under Mr Kim. So technically it's also been 3 years of ending up at bars, drunk.

So yea here I am now. Drunk and wasted. I've had my 26th can of beer but wouldn't stop.

"Yah stop it already." Jackson grabbed the can I was a about to finish.

"Give it back you ass. I paid for that to be in my body." I tried snatching my beer back but fell in Bambam's arms.

He sighed, " your drunk Lisa. Fucking wasted. Let's go home. Enough already."

I shook my head.

"No I don't wanna go home yet." I stumbled to my feet.

"Look lisa I'm bringing your ass to the toilet to get you washed up before we leave." Jackson stood up and held me. "Let's go." He said firmly.

I stumbled here and there on the way to the bathroom.

"Now get your ass in there and puke all you want. I'll be waiting here where we will return home as soon as you exit this door. Arasso?!"

He pushed me in the toilet. I found my way to an open cubicle where I dropped to my knees and wrenched all I had in me. I think after a good 5 minutes of gagging up, I flushed the toilet. I crawled to the sink and washed my mouth. After rinsing my face too, I turned to leave.

"What do you want?" I asked coldly a bit sober now.

She bit her lips and glided her hand around my abs to my shoulders.

"I want you to fuck me daddy." She said seductively.

I smirked at her remark and leaned in close to her ear.

"This isn't fun. I've got a wife waiting at home. Nice try." With that I left before she could get any chance to stop me.

I wish I had wife waiting at home for me. I wish I had Jennie as my wife. I exit the toilet with tears in my eyes. And they both looked at me worriedly.

"It hurts oppa...it's hurts so bad. But I know nothing could hurt more than what I did to her. Why did I do that oppa? Why didn't I just put Mr Kim in jail? Instead of rapping his daughter. Why oppa? WAE?!" I shouted and they just pulled me in their arms.

They've both been my closest friends. Ever since my dad died they've been both my father figure and caring brothers.

"Look Lisa, all the wrong you've done now or in the past, it can't be changed. But you can decide the future. Yes your father wouldn't be happy to know you avenged him by rapping an innocent girl. But you can still do other goods in replace of you sins." Jackson said.

"So stop this now Lisa. Stop ending up in random bars around town. Drunk. If you wanna continue looking for Jennie, we will help. But if the day ends with no luck, don't end up here buddy. Have I made myself clear?" Bambam patted my head.

I just nodded as I tried suppressing my sobs.
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The next day again no luck. It was 8 pm. Dinner was served and we all ate as we still continued to search for anything related to Jennie. As I stretched my arms above my head I fell back into the couch for another short break. I looked to Jackson.

"Anything oppa?"

But he just shook his head. He stood up.

"I'm gonna grab Mr Kim's old flies to see if he had worked in another country other than Korea. Maybe Jennie would be there." I gave him a small nod.

Bambam came back from the kitchen and handed me a beer.

"Hey here. Only 2 for you tonight. No more than that."

"Thanks oppa but I'd rather drink coffee right now."

"Good. Go on then I'll take over."

I made myself I nice cup of cold brew. I entered the living room again to see Jackson back where he was. Another 10 minutes past and we were still searching. Jackson still stuck on Mr Kim's old flies.

"Anything now oppa?" I sighed.

He shakes his head again. Just as I was about to fall back into the couch I saw his eyes widen.

"Wae? Oppa what is it?" I shot up.

He looked at me. All worried. What has he found?

"Oppa. What's the matter?"

He dropped the files. I quickly picked it up and scanned it with laser eyes. I froze.

My heart stopped.
My eyes widen.
My legs became weak.
My arms went numb.
My brain turned off.
My breathing hitched.

My whole body just reset. He can't be serious.

"Oppa. What is the meaning of this? Oppa please tell me we weren't wrong the whole time." He was just looking down.

"OPPA!!!" I shouted unable to hold back my tears from falling.

"I'm sorry Lisa. I got it wrong. I overlooked the names. I-I'm sorry." He looked up to me.

A-all this time. They were innocent. They didn't kill my father. In fact they were bestfriends. I looked to the name right below uncle Kim's name and glance to the left of it.

'Guilty'

It wasn't Mr Kim. It was Mr Lee Si-eon. I fell to my knees. What have I done?

After all these years. I raped an innocent girl whom I loved and lost. I cried helplessly. I really am a fucking bastard. I deserve to die. I can't believe I did this. I can't believe I raped her. I lost her. I loved her so much. But I let her go because of my stupidity.

"Lisa?" Bambam held my shoulder.

"I-I want to be alone. P-please." I cried staring at the floor.

I heard them sigh and they headed out my apartment.

I kneeled there for so long. More than an hour. Processing everything. After all this time. I really fucked up. And now I can't fixed it for good. How the fuck am I supposed to explain things now. Oh because I mistakenly thought your dad murdered mine. Wtf is this?!

I stood up and threw everything on the coffee table onto the floor. I flipped everything in the living room. Broke anything I could. Punched both the floor and walls. I can't. I really don't deserve to even be alive anymore.

Suddenly I stop. By someone shouting my name.

"LISA!!!"

My mom came and hugged me as I just fell onto the ground.

"Eomma..." I cried on her shoulder. "Eomma I can't. I can't do this anymore. He was innocent Eomma. So was Jennie. But I fucking raped her. EOMMA I RAPED HER!!! Why am I still alive Eomma?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

She shushed my quietly.

"Lisa please don't say that. Honey this is your punishment. Accept it baby. You did that bad thing and god has punished you by taking Jennie away from you. You have to accept it honey. As much as you hate it. But who knows? If in the end god decides to have mercy on you, he will allow you to meet Jennie again. So please. Stop this Lisa."my mom comforted me.

I just cried on her shoulder after nodding. I thought while hugging her. I need to do something. After awhile I knew what needed to be done. Even if I'll be locked up behind bars I know what I have to do. I hugged her tighter knowing what might happen next.

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Forgive me I've been busy. But I'm trying to cope. Hope you enjoyed it. Muacks😙😙😙