37 | fix me

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*warning : this chapter deals with serious issues such as depression, suicide and self-harm. You have been warned.

He knew Jungkook to be dangerous

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He knew Jungkook to be dangerous.
Not to others, but to himself. He had little to no regard for his own health as shown by his carelessness in doing life-threatening things such as walking on the edge of a balcony rail, smoking too much or what Tae later happened to find out, cutting.

But that was before he knew Jungkook's deepest secrets and only saw those odd behaviors that surfaced behind that mask of seemingly unshakable perfection he had grown to be to used to put on every single day of his life.

He was @bunnyboy, a young, influential web star living the life of his dreams which, truth be told, was actually a real nightmare. Who would have thought he was hiding that much pain and suffering underneath those big brown eyes Taehyung could swear he saw the entire universe in.

Three knocks on the door were enough for Jungkook to guess someone was asking to see him, so he opened up without hesitation. He was greeted by Taehyung, shaking and sweating cold, throwing himself on Jungkook's shivering frame to hug him tightly, almost to make sure he was real and not some kind of hallucination.

He was still kind of drunk from before but the severity of the situation kinda washed off some of the booze, as if the worry that something could have happened to the boy he loved so fondly freed him from the excess of intoxicating substances he had consumed earlier.

"Thank God you're ok" he said all in one breath, his voice sounding deep in concern, ruffled blue hair brushing against Jungkook's neck, tickling it slightly.

"Of course I'm ok.. what did you think I was gonna do?" Jk retorted almost scoldingly as if the other boy's assumptions hurt his pride: maybe for the fact itself they were founded in truth. In fact, he actually did some things he regretted that night, right before Taehyung walked through the door.

For one, the sink was tainted in red spots contrasting with its immaculate white surface, not to mention there were cigarette butts scattered all over the floor if only one looked well enough to find them. And last but not least, he had once again failed to bring himself to swallow enough anti-depressants to lose consciousness, and instead only took the recommended dose his doctor prescribed him.

Yes, one could say he was suicidal.
But Taehyung didn't have to know.
It was a blessing he came early enough to stop him from pursuing his death wishes, but a curse he was now dragging that poor innocent boy in that hell hole his battle against depression was turning into.

"I.. I don't know. You sounded a bit off and I got worried plus you.. you told me you needed my help but I was hanging out with.. with Jimin and I felt guilty cause I should have said yes when you first told me you wanted to come to my pla-" Taehyung was rambling and rambling so Jungkook placed a finger on his lips to shut him off.

He was starting to think the guy was possibly drunk. But nonetheless, he was cute as heck with those red cheeks of his and glossy eyes, clear signs of having too much booze in your system. It was either that or he had a temperature, which wasn't the case considering the boy was fine just a few days back.

"Why don't you come inside? I'll get you some water. Uh? What do you say?" Jk politely asked, knowing all the things Tae was about to hear or see from that moment on, he would have probably forgotten the moment they reached his ears and eyes, considering how stoned he was.

"Sounds about right *hic*" Tae hiccuped and then loudly threw himself on the couch. Just then Jk realized how heavy he was compared to him, cause he had to drag him by force all the way there since the boy's balance was precarious due to the hangover.
From the way he was now sitting, he could admire his well-built body: his strong physique and lethally handsome features made him look like a God on Earth.. or at least that was what the love tinted lenses through which he saw him made Jungkook believe.

"I'll go get you something to drink. Promise me you won't move, got it?" the younger boy then said and Tae nodded in response. But then the unexpected happened: the prude, goody-two-shoes hipster boy loudly slapped Jungkook's butt with no shame. Actually, he even smirked while doing so. One could easily tell he was drunk by that action itself.

"Shoot. It is worst than I imagined" Jk mumbled as he lowered himself to take a clean cup from the kitchen drawer: but that position made him now a target for Taehyung's uncontrollable desire. He could feel the older boy's gaze on him, fixing his lustful emerald eyes on his body. It's not that he didn't like the attention, however since the room was dark and the only source of light was coming from the neon signs along the street, the atmosphere was getting kinda creepy.

That feeling of uneasiness grew even more as Taehyung demanded to go to the bathroom in the lowest voice Jungkook had ever heard from him. He had to stop him from going there at all costs: he was pretty sure his blood-stained razor blade was still laying in plain sight somewhere in the room.

"No, you can't. The uhm.. the sink is broken" Jk retorted as he came up to Tae, holding a cup of warm tea in his hand.

"But.. I really have to use the bathroom" Tae whined, just then making Jk understand why he was in need of some privacy. He was hard.

"Oh shit" Jk muttered, gritting his teeth and cursing himself for being the cause of that awkward situation.

"Ok then... I'll go fix the sink but promise me you'll stay here and don't ... don't do anything!" Jk then said, hoping Tae was in his right mind and wasn't gonna try to touch himself. Under different circumstances, he would have done the work for him, but that was not one of those times... not when his arm was covered in fresh cuts and his throat was burning for the nicotine, not when Taehyung was drunk and horny and confused.

But then, just as Jungkook was heading for the bathroom, he heard Tae calling him again.

"Jungkookshi" he breathed, his voice a bit husky.

"What is it Tae?" Jungkook turned around, quirking a brow.

"You know I love you right?" the boy with blue hair whispered, his eyes half-closed but still gleaming, his soft lips slightly parted.
He was so beautiful.

Now, Jungkook knew people tend to be the most honest when they're drunk, so what the other boy told him couldn't have been but a genuine confession of his true feeling towards him. So after a moment of silence, Jungkook finally spoke, his tone silken and sweet.

"I love you too, Taehyungsshi"

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