Sorting It Out

the beginning

Hello, this is my first story so please be generous but i would love feedback and what anyone thinks on the story. I am open to all comments but if i don't think it is appropriate i will remove it. I am not good at spelling or structure so please any tips would be helpful. I hope you enjoy the story.

TRIGGER WARNING

IF YOU WILL BE TRIGGERED BY THE THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN TAGGED PLEASE DO NOT READ OR READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

ENJOY!

-icyhots_bitch <3

IZUKU P.O.V

I sit on my bed as I stare at the blank wall in front of me. The sticky tape from previous All Might posters still sit there. My body is sore from the intense training session followed by a beating from my father for not being good enough soon after. Guilt builds up in my chest once again as I realise that my soulmate felt all of that. For hours on end.

Soulmate.

I have always like the idea of a soulmate. Meeting the one that completes your soul. Everybody has a soulmate. It is more rare then being quirkless believe it or not. The only thing with this soulmate stuff is that you don't know who they are. They could be your best friend or a stranger from across the world but you won't know unless you touch each others soulmate mark. You get a soulmate on your 8th birthday. It is all good and fun until you realise that you can feel everything. Every stub of the toe to every stab wound. your soulmate can feel every bit of pain that your own body...and mind feels. If you are feeling down then your soulmate is automatically having a crap day as well.

I have always felt guilty for my soulmate. I have had a rough childhood that has consisted of not so nice things physically and mentally, and my soulmate felt it all. At the age of 10 my mind was at it's worst. My mother died. The only person that cared about me enough to keep me alive died in the hands of no other then the hero killer Stain himself. He slit her throat right in front of me. I was in a bad state for around 4 months after that. I wouldn't eat and I wouldn't sleep due to nightmares and my thoughts always put me in the worst of moods. But the worst of all was that my own father started my training then. He made it difficult and hard from the very beginning. He would wake me up at 6:00am to train and I would be beaten up and barley walking by 7:00am.

Things only got worse from there.

As the years went on, the sessions started earlier, the training got harder...and so did the beatings. Every single night I would get one and they never stopped. Sometimes it was with his bare hands. Sometimes it was with a belt and sometimes it was with a blade or sword.

But it didn't stop there.

Then my father started to drink.

My mind went darker and darker as the years went on. The voices in my head wouldn't stop talking to me and telling me to do horrible things. Sometimes it was to go kill someone like stain or my own father and other times it was to go kill myself. I have only ever given into one of the voices commands and that was to cut. Cut my pain way. Cut my sorrows away. Cut to release the darkness.

I know it is a bad habit but it works. It gets my mind off everything and makes the voices stop for a bit. But i will always feel the guilt in my chest from making my soulmate feel everything. He or she feels every cut on my arm every night and I have tried to stop for them but I eventually just give into the voices in my head.

I stand up and go to my dresser. I open the top draw and pull out an emerald green sharpie. I always used this sharpie because it reminds me of my green emerald eyes and hair.

I walk back over to my bed and sit down. I roll up the sleeve of my oversized hoodie and slowly unwrap the bandage on my left arm. I cringe at the noise of peeling the dried bloodied up bandage off my arm. Once the bandage is off I roll it up into a ball and trow it in the bin that sits in between my bed and my desk.

I observe the cuts, bruises and burns that my father has given me, as well as the my self inflicted cuts. I turn my arm over and pop the lid off the green sharpie with my teeth. I press the green sharpie to my skin and write a simple message.

i'm so sorry

You can communicate with your soulmate by writing on your skin. They will receive the written message and they can choose to write back or not.

My soulmate always writes back. Just sometimes they don't do it right away. I have always felt comfort when talking to my soulmate. They always have the right words at the right time. I don't know if it is because they felt what I went through or not but they always know what to say.

I look back at my arm to see that my soulmate has written back in their usual red sharpie.

For what?

For everything. For the pain that I always put you through. For the consent sleepless nights and the consent pain. All because I am useless and can't do anything right-

TODOROKI P.O.V

I lay awake in my bed. My soulmate has had another rough day. I can feel that they are in so so much pain, and it pains me that I can't help them. Their arms hurt more then the rest of their body like always. I take my left sleeve out from under my bed sheets. I want to see if there is anything there, and much to my surprise there is.

My soulmate has written a 3 worded message to me.

I'm sorry

I shove my hand underneath my pillow and grab the red pen I use when I write to him. I don't know why but we always use the same colours. They always use a green sharpie and I always use a red.

I reply with a simple What for?

They don't have anything to be sorry for. I can tell by the pain that they are having that they are getting beaten against their will. Someone can't do that to themselves and someone wouldn't ask for that. They are being forced into it, and i can't blame them for it what so ever.

For everything. for the pain that I always put you through. For the consent sleepless nights and the consent pain. All because I am useless and can't do anything right-

I cut them off before they can say anything else. They are feeling guilty. Really guilty and I can feel it too.

No you are not useless. Your amazing and strong. You have lived through hell and you are still here. Still standing and I am so proud of you for that. I don't care about the pain. You aren't doing it to yourself so it isn't your fault so don't blame yourself.

Sorry. How is it that you always have the right words at the right time and i don't even know you?

I laugh chuckle quietly at the question and the feeling of sadness slowly slipping from my soulmate.

Magic i guess

I'm going to try and sleep. good night

I smile at his words. I can't tell if they want to sleep because they are tired or because they want me to sleep but either way I don't mind. they are getting the rest they deserves and that all I can ask of them.

Alright good night.

And with that I pop the lid to my sharpie back onto it's body and slip it underneath my pillow once again. I roll over in my bed and before I knew it I have in a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

(1366 words)

i hope you enjoyed this chapter. i will update soon.

-icyhots_bitch