My Painful Love ❤️

49 - Confession

"I know I did sins in past but I am moving from them Jaan. I want to love you infinitely as no one does. I accept all your words you spoke that day but never doubt my intentions on you which is pure. My presence may be unwanted for you and your parent's happy life but I can never hurt you directly or indirectly, I will always keep you happy. Even that happens only with my absence, I will move away from you and let you live happily ever.

But remember one thing. You are my need not want. You are my blessing not wish. You are not just my wife you are my life. You mean everything to me.

Even in those years when you are not with me whenever I tried to hate you you made your way to my heart deeper every day. Every day I loved you more and more and more and more.

You are my want, happiness, feelings, life, my heart. You are my love. My only love.

I love you.

I love you beyond anything.

I always loved you and will always love you.

But I am nothing or should I say no one to you?!!!" He blinked his eyes to not let his tear fall and turned to the other side.

I hugged him tightly not in the motive to leave him but he tried to move away which makes me cry harder with his rejection. I let him and sat on the floor with facepalmed to let go of my tears.

How stupid I am. How stupid I am to not see his love and care in his activities. How can I speak to my Adi like that? He means a lot to me. He is the only one for me in this world. How did I speak like that for those people's that too with my love and the only reason for me to live? My heart became heavy with every passing second. I can't bear its heaviness due to my stupid activities.

"Sorry, Adi. Please" I whispered slowly through my tears. As usual, he maintains his silence.

"Sorry"

This time he gently picked me off the floor in bridal style and placed me slowly on the bed not looking at me. Once placing me on the bed he turned to leave but I held his hand stopping him and pulled me slowly to me. He turned to me. I mentioned him to come closer. He came close and sat on his knees with his eyes on me. His eyes are full of pain and hurt.

I made my Adi cry.

Placing my palms on his cheek stroking them softly through his grown beard which looks like a dense forest. But still, he looks handsome. My man. My Adith.

"Sorry" I murmured slowly. But this time his tear rolled down but he wiped in swiftly. Placing both palms on his cheek I moved close to him slowly looking at those tear-filled gazes. He placed both hands on the bed on both sides of me with his eyes on me. I placed a small kiss on his forehead and then on his right eye then on his left eye. As soon as I placed a kiss on his eyes shed tears and he stiffened his grip on the bed with his jaw tightened like he is controlling himself.

I traced my one hand to his thick dark hair and started to caress it slowly. He closed his eyes slowly and stayed still for a few seconds. But opened it again quickly moving away from me and stood up with his back facing me.

"I...I have nothing other than sorry Adi. Please forgive me. Don't.....don't move away from me. Please" I stammered pleading with him.

"It's already late. Sleep" saying this he went out closing the door leaving me in tears.

How can I sleep when I hurt him to this extent? I went to the porch to watch the dark sky sitting on the couch. Also, sleep is such a luxury thing for me which I can't afford effortlessly. The night rolled slowly with my eyes wide open. The morning I took bath and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast but I can't concentrate on my work as Adith's thoughts invade my thoughts. I never saw him the next day as he never came to the home. I hardly had food and a nap.