My Painful Love ❤️

36 - Once a whore always a whore

Adith pov

You will never understand the damage until you feel the pain.

I didn't feel it back. Not I can experience it. It's like someone is constantly placing Thornes deep in my injury.

Pain leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to revenge, and revenge leads to suffering.

Tears started to roll down my eyes. I wiped them harshly but they are not in a state to listen to me.

You don't need me and it kills me Jaan. My heart is so tired.

I want to shut them out from this whole world and let her live her life heartily. Seeing her with someone pains me. She is happy with him unlike with me. She is happy to cook for him with love.

But she can't even see my face. I have done a sin, but her hatred is killing me slowly and it's really painful. I took another bottle and started drinking it. Her crying face comes in front of me. It's replaced by her hatred.

I throw the bottle against my tv and it shattered into pieces. I want those pieces into my body at least to replace the pain I have now. My heart is beating loudly with my pain. It's not at peace.

I want to be happy with her and take all the pain which she experienced in her life.

My hands started to irk as the blood came out due to the breakage of the glass. I stood up and went down to my car and drove to my parents.

My vision started to blur due to my alcoholic effect. I want to meet my Jaan again. Her face calms me. It makes my mind and heart at peace.

Once I reached my parents I parked my car at the corner of the street and get down and walked in. I don't want anyone to know that I am here at this time. I opened the gate and asked the gatekeeper to not tell anyone that I came here. He agreed.

I climbed stairs through the back fence to go to my room. I wonder if it's locked. Yes, it's locked. Shit!

There is only one way to go in. Through the Porch. I went down and get into the garden and climbed the roofs and climbed up to reach my room. I am nonetheless drunk, I want to see my Janvi.

I can see the porch door is half-open. How can she be so careless? What if someone barked in?

The cool breeze hits me making me come to reality. I went in slowly.

My Jaan is sleeping peacefully facing me. It's been weeks since I saw her while sleeping. I saw her sleeping pills again on the table near the cot. She is still having them. I took it and put it into my pocket. She can't have it when it harms her. 'I will make you sleep peacefully once I sort all our problems Jaan'

I kneeled near her and started watching her. She looks so beautiful, gorgeous, innocent, and cute. How lucky I got her again.

But also unlucky to destroy my happiness with my own hands. I can watch her like this till eternity. I want to take her in my arms and sleep with her. She stirred a bit, I got tensed and nearly got up. She again slept peacefully.

Her hair is falling on her face disturbing her beautiful sleep. I moved my hand and removed it by tugging it back of her ear. She shivered at my touch and smiled lightly.

Woww she is just an angel while smiling in sleep. I caressed her cheeks with my thumb. It's so soft and chubby. How can she have chubby cheeks while she is too lean?

Anyway, I love my Jaan with or without her beauty.

"Jaan, do you know how beautiful you look? I want to get into bed and hug you tightly to sleep as I did in the office. I want to cherish you and give you all the happiness which you lost these years" I slowly mumbled.