Viral

Sixteen

"You got me jealous of everything.
Everything that gets to know you."

-Neyo

Jealousy is an ugly trait. It's rooted in insecurities and rears its ugly head through fear. Fear of not being good enough, fear of rejection, or fear you've missed your chance. I'd like to say I'm not a jealous person, but it's consumed me before, and probably will again.

It's something that everyone can relate to. We've all been there. However, it's always easier to see in others than it will ever be to see in yourself. I guess looking back I should have seen it coming. There were so many things unresolved and too many things left unsaid.

The sun peeking through the blinds was enough to wake me the next morning. I twisted beneath Finn's arm to get a good look at him. I wanted to trace his freckles with my fingertips, but I was afraid to wake him. Instead I settled with watching his chest rise and fall. I couldn't help the smile on my face thinking about last night. It seemed surreal, and had I not woken up next to him I would have believed it was all a dream spawned from my dirty imagination.

As bad as I wanted to dive into the deep end and indulge in what my body was screaming for my mind was too afraid of the dark waters. What would life beneath them be if I answered Finn's question the way I desperately wanted to? In the end I declined his touch.

In my spilt second decision I couldn't decide if we wanted it for the same reasons I did. Instead of being irritated by my response like I expected him to be he simply smiled then went to the bathroom. I fell asleep before he got back but it wasn't hard to guess what was happening in there.

Finn's long eye lashes began to flutter open and my stomach dropped for a millisecond wondering if I should have slipped out before he woke up. The lazy half smile he gave caused me to sink back into his embrace. "Morning." The morning rasp in his voice was enough to cause me to smile again. The night had turned me into putty.

I opened my mouth to parrot his response but instead of hearing my voice I heard his mom call from behind his door. "Breakfast is ready!" I watched the knob on his door twist then stop abruptly from me locking it last night.

"Finn!" A tiny whine was muffled behind the door frame. "Why's your door locked!" I could hear the tiny impact of Amanda stomping her foot in defeat. I sat up in bed pulling his sheets around me. In my morning bliss I hadn't realized I was still half naked. I shoved the blanket to my neck to at least grab a sense of the sanity I threw out of my window last night.

"You don't have to cover up Ry, you're beautiful." Finn was speaking low enough that Amanda couldn't hear as he pushed my frizzing hair out of my face. He turned his attention to the door then called out, "because you stay barging in my room."

I couldn't see Amanda, but I knew her well enough to know she was rolling her eyes. "Whatever I just wanted to tell you your girlfriend is in the kitchen with mom!" The room went silent, honestly, I don't even know if I was breathing. The sound of Amanda's steps getting further away was the only thing I could focus on.

I could feel anger rising in me from just the thought of Carly being there. No longer caring about my nudity I threw the blanket back and started searching for my bra. Finn's voice was even as if he was preparing for my inevitable freak out. This was certainly not how I was expecting my morning to go. "Ryland."

I snapped my eyes to look at him after finding my bra beneath the bed. "What?" There was an underlying trace of ice in my voice I hadn't meant to inflict on him.

Finn was sitting on the edge of his bed with his elbows resting in his thighs. "She's not my girlfriend, I know Marcus told you we're taking a break. I know what you're thinking, I didn't invite her here."