Viral

Two

Beware the person who stabs you
and then tells the world they're the one who's bleeding.
---Jill Blakeway

Have you ever questioned what it would take for you to lose all of your morals and throw every bit of reason out the window? What is the difference between you and a murderer, a thief, or even a sexual predator? Is it genetics or circumstance? What would cause you to do what you had previously determined the absolute unthinkable? And if it came down to it, could you end a life?

My father is a murderer.

Am I predisposed? Was he? I know for a fact that my father was a victim of circumstance. I wasn't there when it happened but I know why he did it. With his bare hands at that, the same hands that tucked me in at night. The same hands that wouldn't kill the spiders that found their way inside of the house, he would cup them between them and release them outside.  My father was a gentle giant, but he had a line that couldn't be crossed. And through his own reasoning he was able to kill a man and look him in the eye while doing it. How is it possible for someone who literally couldn't kill a fly, to make the decision to end someone's life?

"Beckett, your dad's on the phone!" I entered the kitchen where my mom stood, phone glued to her ear as she gathered her belongings stuffing them into her purse. She directed her attention back to her phone, "Yes honey, she's here. That's right she starts tomorrow." She shook her head and passed me the phone.

My mother has never loved another man. Despite being given life with the possibility of parole after 25 years my mother's love has not wavered towards my father. She's never looked at another man. How deep can your love run for someone that a life sentence can't tear you apart? Or maybe it wasn't love. Fear? That pesky weight of fear cementing her into her comfort zone. It's like she's been locked up with him all this time.

"I'm working the night shift tonight honey I probably won't be back before you go to school in the morning but good luck on your first day." She kissed my forehead before heading out the front door I nodded and focused my attention on my father. This was my favorite part of the day.

"Hey dad! How was your day?" I smiled awaiting his deep baritone voice to boom through the phone.

"Pickles!" I rolled my eyes at the terrible nickname. I actually hate pickles now but as a child I was obsessed with the kind that comes individually at gas stations. "I was reading this book today that I think you would like."

"Ugh dad, not again you know I don't have time for that."

"Reading is fun too; you don't have to spend all your time playing ball and video games." Dad still sees me as his little princess. He chooses to believe my tomboy appearance is just a phase but it's what makes me comfortable. He tiptoes around the subject though. I secretly believe he's waiting for me to tell him I'm a lesbian based solely on my choice of dress and after school activities.

"I know dad. What is it? I'll add it to the list." I heard a knock at the door and checked the time on the microwave. It had to be Finn coming to collect me for our daily basketball game. "Come in! No sorry dad I was talking to Finn, it's time for our game...Love you too."

I hung up the moment Finn entered my kitchen. "Ry come on, Carly's waiting in the car."

I felt my body become rigid. "Why is Carly even going to the court?" I felt my eyes roll before I could stop them. Literally what purpose does princess have other than to be annoying on the sidelines.

"Just be nice. That's all I'm asking, I know you hate her but she's my girlfriend. Just put it aside for me, just for tonight."

"Fine. Wait did you say tonight? As in our sacred yearly dinner before the first day of school? You invited her?" Betrayal hits different when it's from someone close to you. I haven't had a traditional family since my dad got locked up and I relied on Finn's for a surrogate. Dinners at his house, specifically our back to school dinner was everything to me and the last thing I needed was for Carly to interject.