Bio for 2019 - 2023 (finished)

Caleb

Yeah, so I have been thinking about Caleb a lot these past few days. not sure if it's because I've had no one to talk too or if I miss him.

I know I shouldn't give him another chance with all the lies and games but like maybe he has changed but maybe not.

I always tell people ex's are ex's for a reason but they all get back with ex's so maybe I should too like no one believes it and they always go back to their ex's and get hurt again so why not? 

I think Caleb is the only one who would put up with me, right know love is nothing to me so I guess fake love is the closes thing to love I would get.

Kelly talked to me but it only causes she needed me but doesn't reply when I need her (nothing's changed with her) 

If you thought I didn't believe people when they told me they "like" me, know I'm worse. 

I don't understand why people don't talk to me like people I know or people I kent, people message but it's only people who message a lot of people and see who messages back. I'm that bored I stupidly do then have nothing to talk about cause they don't want to know what's going on in your life or actually be friends, you talk and all they say is cool, ok, alright, thanks. THAT'S FUCKING IT! it's annoying. 

This is why I ask people why they message and it's always I messaged a lot of people and see who messaged back.

Ok so back to Caleb, he did a lot of shitty things and a lot of bad things like the game, cheating, staying off because he didn't want to put up with me. 

He has no idea what I would go throw when he wasn't on but forgot it all when he was on.

He thinks he was putting a lot of work into us but he doesn't see what I was doing for us

I always waited on him, kept my 3g on so I didn't miss him only for him not to be on for weeks or days or whatever but he never saw what I had to do nooo, he only thought he was the one trying to make it work. which is bull cause I mean like cheating isn't putting a lot into it that's pushing me away.

I have to try to convince myself not to message him or want to get back with him so I have to remind myself of all the bad things he did cause no one will listen to me about him or talk to me at all unless they have a problem.

The guy I liked has az boyfriend so no point in that, maybe that's why I've been thinking about Caleb so much cause let's face it no one really wants me, no one really loves me ... whoops seen the bad side of things again *rolls my eyes* ..... what's the good side to this again ? or I'm alive an alone ? is that the good side to all this?

Yeah as I've been told I see the bad side to things *sighs* people are meant to like or love the person for who they are and not try to change them but nope I'm so negative so Caleb and beau informed me.

Well sorry for being negative when I have a friend who only talks when they need me, I have a friend who's never on anymore, I lost my little sister who was my world and have people walk all over me! so yes I'm so negative you got a problem with it then fuck off! take me as I am or leave, I'm not going to try to make anyone stay anymore, you want out or out. 

I don't know why I'm writing this I guess I just need to get it off my chest cause no one will listen to me or help me. I'm in a piss ass mood today and I have no idea why. I've been like this since I got home from Nikki's which I was fine here cause I helped Hayden with his homework, we had dinner then we did his pumpkin then played with toys so I was fine at Nikki's and know I've pissed off no idea why. 

I'll listen to bts soon, it should help me calm down. 

     Well I'm off to watch ghost adventures then listen to bts so I can calm down 

THANK YOU, BTS FOR HELPING ME THROW MY BAD TIMES AND MAD TIMES, MY GOOD DAYS AND HARD DAYS! 

Plus they help me stop thinking about Caleb until their songs finished 

                                   Ok bye