Facade [h.s]

twenty-eight

In other words, I felt watched, evaluated. It was as if they kept being around me with the sole purpose of trying to understand how I was taking the whole thing, and I didn't like that, because it put me on edge. What would've happened if Joel had decided I wasn't acting in the way he wanted me to? I didn't even dare to think about that.

All of that put together had contributed to me feeling incredibly lonely. I couldn't spend time with Harry because it wasn't safe for him, I couldn't spend time with Indigo because Joel didn't want me to. I could've probably spent time with Callie, but I knew she would've only ended up reporting to Joel like the good puppy she was, and I didn't trust her. I didn't know what was up with her and I didn't like that, because I was used to understanding people quite well. Callie, though, was a mystery, which also meant that she was dangerous.

The majority of things and people around me in that period seemed to be dangerous. Harry had been dangerous because he would've told me the truth, Indigo was dangerous because she'd told me the truth, Callie was dangerous because she was mysterious, Joel... there were many reasons why Joel was extremely dangerous, and yet he was my best friend as well. I really was screwed.

"I'm going out, maybe stop wallowing in self-pity!" I heard a loud and obnoxious voice chirp from the other room, and sent a glare in that direction. Of course someone like Amelie had to say something like that. At least she was going out, because I really didn't feel like dealing with her as well on that day.

I wondered if it would've been a bad idea to see if I could meet with Harry. Now that the initial stress of the body having been found had vanished away, the chances of something crazy happening had lowered considerably - not enough to say that the equilibrium was back into place, but enough to be sure that nothing awful would've happened at any second.

I'd definitely missed Harry over the past couple of days, so it would've been nice to see him again - also because he seemed to be the only person that wasn't a murderer or siding with one that hadn't forgotten about me. I just wished I could've found out what was going on with Indigo. It'd almost made no sense for her to text me what she'd texted me, and then act like nothing had happened. I just wanted to make sure that she was alright - and also that nothing had happened with Joel.

I finally looked down, detaching my eyes from the wall on the other side of the room and taking my phone, typing down a little text to send Harry.

To Harry: Are you busy?

I stared at it for some seconds, debating if it truly was a good idea to see him on that day, and then I sent it, deciding not to overthink it too much.

I locked the screen and put the phone down on the bed in front of me, waiting for the reply to come. It was a really awkward thing for me to do - I knew it - but I couldn't really help it in that moment. I really wanted Harry to reply, and even though I knew that staring at the phone wouldn't have made the answer come faster, I couldn't bring myself to do something else.

After what felt like centuries the phone dinged with a new text message, and I opened it quickly, reading the short reply Harry had sent me.

From Harry: Not exactly. What do you have in mind?

I looked up, pursing my lips as I thought about it. What did I have in mind? Could wanting to see him be an option? Because I definitely wanted to see him. It was a bit embarrassing to realise how much I'd missed him over the past couple of days. I'd really gotten used to having him around more than I should've.

To Harry: Maybe we could do something?

I finished typing down the text and sent it quickly, not wanting to give myself time to rethink it. I wondered if he'd missed me just as much as I'd missed him. I knew that he didn't think there was anything going on between us, but still, he had to have noticed I wasn't around, had he? Or did it simply mean that he'd started hooking up with others again, and I was now old news to him? I know that I was overthinking the whole thing, but I couldn't help it.