twenty-one

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It was a weird evening.

It started being weird when Harry and I ended up having dinner together, raiding the last contents of his fridge and reminding him that he would've had to go shopping the day after.

It then continued being weird when bedtime came - a bit early, considering that we had classes to attend the day after - after an afternoon spent trying to pretend our problems actually didn't exist - something that managed to work perfectly until it suddenly struck me that going to class would've meant meeting Indigo and possibly Joel too.

"Hang on" I said, automatically grabbing Harry's forearm as he walked past me to get to the bathroom.

He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at me, a confused look in his eyes. "What is it?"

I looked away from him. "Just... what will I do tomorrow?" I asked him. I didn't know why I'd asked him - or why I always felt as if he had the answers to my every question - but I couldn't help it. After all, he'd been in it for much longer than I had, so he had to have some good advice to give me.

"Go to class?" He answered interrogatively, and I sent him a little glare. He sighed. "Just behave normally. Do that, and you'll be fine."

"What if I can't do it?" I asked again. I really shouldn't have thought about that possibility since it would've only made me even more nervous, but I couldn't help it. I could just hope that my worry wouldn't have ruined everything.

He shrugged. "Then you're screwed" he said, finally surpassing me and going into the bathroom, closing the door before I could say anything else.

"Hey!" I said quickly, walking to the door and knocking on it, not appreciating the answer. "Can't you just be helpful for once?!" I exclaimed, loud enough to make sure he would've heard me from the other side.

I heard him groan. "Thunderstorm, I appreciate your interest, wanting to learn survival skills is great" he said, "will you let me pee in peace now?"

I scrunched up my nose, a bit shocked by his question, and took a step back from the door. "Why would you tell me that?"

"You're the one that's talking to someone that's in a fucking toilet" he replied, a hint of exasperation in his voice. "Now, if you'll excuse me. Just know that this is not the tap water running."

"Oh my goodness" I said and quickly stepped away from the door, not wanting to know anything more than I already did.

I walked back into the living room, resorting to taking another look around while I waited for Harry to finish whatever he'd decided to do.

The desk next to the front door - that was basically in front of me - was still full of books, but some of the pens, highlighters and paper sheets had fallen to the ground, probably as a result of Harry's decision to make me sit on the wooden surface earlier that day. I'd never kissed anyone while sitting on a table before, and I'd discovered that I really liked it. Maybe the fact that the man I'd done it with was Harry helped my judgement more than I would've wanted to admit.

"Good memories?" I heard a whisper into my ear, and I turned around quickly at the deep sound of Harry's voice.

He was standing there, the smug look on his face of someone who knows exactly what they're doing - and is extremely proud of it too. His hair was messier than usual, and the faint smell of mint in his breath told me that he'd just brushed his teeth as well. It was clear that he was ready to go to sleep, and for some reason that piece of knowledge managed to make me even more nervous.

I couldn't tell what it was that scared me so much, if the fact that I had no idea of how we would've settled for the night, or the fact that the next day came closer and closer with only second that went by. I didn't want to see Joel, I knew that now, not now, not ever. I didn't want to end up being in trouble, but at the same time I didn't want to pretend nothing had happened. That wasn't right. Everything was completely messed up.

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