LIAR | QUEEN AU

Chapter 20 - A Happy Pair They Made

"How are you doing?" I looked up from my phone and at Brian. He was snuggling next to me on the couch looking adorable as ever. I don't know, it's just that he looked so elated and content reading his novel.

"Doing all right," he nodded, flashing a smile too. He turned a page in his book.

I've noticed he doesn't usually use his bionic arm unless completely necessary. It bums me out since I worked so hard on it. But I can't judge him. He must still be adjusting to it.

He's been quiet. I mean, he's always calm and placid, but it's just unusual for him to be so recluse. He'd go on rants about space, animals, or maybe even some mission.

I miss those talks. I like being loud. I like things being exciting! But I'd gladly give it up if Brian doesn't want to live like that. At least for right now. That poodle will budge sometime soon.

"It's a nice day out. Would you like to go somewhere?" I asked trying to spark some sort of a conversation. It was Saturday morning. I'd love to go out at least for a walk. The autumn leaves were just enthralling.

"Eh.. not really with this ol' thing," he shrugged his right arm. His metal arm. The one I built for him.

Maybe I was just being sensitive, but I took it a bit personally. I spent so long building it just for him and making it unique for my Bri. And now he doesn't even want to use it?

"You... you don't like it?" I muttered, my voice cracking a bit. I was dreading this. I know I'm not the best with tech stuff, but I thought I'd make him proud. Is it that bad that he doesn't even want to go out with it?

"No, I do!" he declined my question almost immediately. It brought a small smile to my face. But he soon turned somber, "I just... I.. I-I don't.. I'm sorry..."

He struggled to cough up the words. I don't know why I reacted so poorly. It must be difficult for him to adjust. Just a few weeks ago his whole world flipped upside down. The wound is just as fresh as it is covered.

And I have to be there to understand. I just wish he wasn't self conscious about having an impairment because he's still my big, beautiful Brian inside and out. I wish he didn't let that stop him from enjoying life. Life is engaging as a spy, but sh*t.

It can be really serious at times and damn terrifying. Too terrifying. And you can't confide it to anyone because you are keeping secrets so confidential, so life threatening that it can cause harm by uttering a single bit. I wouldn't want anyone to be burdened with a struggle like that.

But at least you have your agent friends to relate with. You become as close as a family, especially with the sub-unit you're assigned to. Hanging around with Freddie, Brian, and John have been the greatest experiences as a spy.

Sorry, I went on a tangent. But yeah, I just want Brian to be happy, that's all. Even with the stuff going on.

"Hey, you're okay. It's okay," I held onto his hand, the real one. He squeezed my hand tightly. Brian gazed into my eyes. They were so alluring.

"I'm sorry if I.. hurt your feelings. I love the arm, I do. But.. it's just weird knowing that my real arm isn't there. And when people look at it, they'll know too. I'm just not really comfortable showing it off to others. No one but you."

I didn't know how to respond other than a nod. Well sometimes a nod is all you need. He smiled as I stroked his cheek.

I admit, I loved being intimate with him. I loved that it could be just us. But to be fair, I damn loved attention. I just wanted to scream out to the world that he's my perfect f*cking boyfriend! I wanted to take him out, have fun, and show everyone what love is.