Love Story With A Warbler

Chapter 38

Warning... You may need tissues. I cried while writing this. 

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Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear. Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. How do you measure, measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, In midnights, in cups of coffee, In inches, in miles, In laughter, in strife. How about (Love?) How about (Love?) How about love? Measure (In love) Seasons of (Love) (Love) Seasons of (Love) (Love) Five hundred twenty-five thousand, Six hundred minutes, Five hundred twenty-five thousand Journeys to plan. Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes. How do you measure The life of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned

Or in times that he cried

In bridges he burned

Or the way that she died!

It's time now To sing out. Though the story never ends. Let's celebrate Remember a year in the life of friends. Remember the (love!) (Oh, you've got to, you've got to remember the love) Remember the (love!) (You know that love is a gift from above) Remember the (love!) (Share love, give love, spread love) Measure in (love!) (Measure, measure your life in love) Seasons of (Love) (Love) Seasons of (Love) (Love)

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It's been three weeks, four if you count the pior. Three weeks of just this blanket of numbness. Three weeks of people saying sorry, and saying they were praying for us. In that time I would go back and forth between school, until I just couldn't do it. I stop going the past two weeks because it was too much and I could barely get through the day.

What's worse, I couldn't sleep. I would walk around the house late at night, sometimes go inside Finn's room and just fall asleep there on his bed hoping he would come through the doors and carry me back to my room. Or sometimes, I would play this audio track he sent me when he was in the army. It's him singing his favorite songs, just to listen to him one more time. I would play them with my headphones on knowing it was going to kill my mom more than it has if she hears it. But I knew how she felt too, I would see her playing home videos of the three of us. I couldn't imagine how much the pain is taking her, I've lost a brother but she lost part of herself. Her son.

She was going through old family photos one night, but then she put them away not ready to face the reality of that pain. She is still grieving I don't blame her. She lost a child she had given birth to 19 years ago.... I lost my best friend, my big brother.... My protector.

Sebastian would come over every single day and get me to eat. I haven't talk lately and I know it's been killing him, actually everyone. I haven't gone to school in two and half weeks, maybe for an hour but that's all I can bare before I break. Kurt said he was coming back to go to a special memorial that Mr. Shue was holding in honor of him. I didn't want to go but Kurt said I was, or at least at some point I do.

School's the worst, the first few days everyone look at me and saw Finn, they told me they were sorry for my lost. Most of the time they would say how great he was or tell the things they never got to say to him because I was the closest thing they could let out what they always wanted to say to him. I couldn't take it, if I walk outside and cause more pain, why bother?

"Hey." I heard Sebastian said knocking on my door.

I didn't move, I just laid there on my bed facing away from the door. Burt was helping mom and Sebastian was helping me out, but sometimes I feel like I'm being babysitted. I just wanted to be alone.