Seeing You

Peace Treaty

I'd managed nearly a whole week without seeing Gabe. Considering how small my village and the surrounding area is, that's quite a task and it wasn't until when the following Tuesday evening rolled around that I wondered if Gabe has been avoiding me too.

I hadn't told Mac, he knew what had happened  with Gabe when we were younger and understood my anger about it all.

I shouldn't have to say what my size is, you should be able to make your decisions about me without knowing whether I'm large or small. It's a number that I won't be defined by. I won't let a number dictate how my life will be.  I guess all you need to know is that I'm not the size of a model and that I actually like the way I look. I have curves, boobs and I'm happy with that.

It wasn't like that after what happened with Gabe and the others. There was constant ridicule but I eventually managed to feel confident with me as I am.

I looked at myself in the mirror. Dark, thick auburn hair tied up in a messy bun, freckles, dark blue eyes. I liked how I look. I chewed my bottom lip and thought about what had happened with Gabe. I wasn't going to back down on this, what he'd done to me was awful but if I wanted to write I needed to rise above this. He's my editor after all.

As if on cue, my email pinged with one from Gabe. It was a list of articles we had to consider and topics of discussion for the meeting tomorrow. I didn't want to go but I was going to.

Sometimes, trying to be brave sucks.

I was typing up some ideas about the articles for the meeting when my phone buzzed.

Hi, are you free?

I glanced at the number, I didn't recognise it.

Sorry who is this? I think you might have the wrong number. I wrote back.

It's Gabe. Can we talk?

I recoiled from my phone in horror and then flung it onto my bed. Why on Earth was he texting me?

I couldn't deal with this just now. Nan and I had just managed to settle dad and she was downstairs whittling. Yup, whittling, my Nan has varied hobbies and she's taken to dragging lumps of wood in from the log store and placing on the coffee table in the living room then hacking bits off of it.

My phone buzzed again. Taunting me.

I shoved it into my bag, wrapped my mums scarf around my neck, pulled on my boots and crept downstairs. I popped my head into the living room, flinching as a wedge of wood flew past my cheek.

"Nan? I'm going out, I need some fresh air."

She nodded, chisel in one hand and hammer in the other. I resisted the urge to laugh at her. She looked like an angry troll doll.

I blew her a kiss then closed the door quietly. I slipped out the front door and walked out the garden, grimacing at the gate as it didn't squeak. Bloody Gabe.

It was dark and a frost hung in the air. I could see my breath in front of me. The beauty of living where we do is that you could look up and see all the stars. I walked towards the park, past the swings and into the forest behind it.

Now, don't panic, Nan knows where I'm going- whenever I need to think or just breathe, even when I was little, she knew where I'd be. Also, I had a spray can of mace in my bag.

I picked my way over the exposed roots and ducking past the low branches. I pushed through some overgrown bushes and stopped.

The best thing about the village? The loch that circled half of it. On a map it looks like the loch is giving the village a sideways hug. You could see clear water for miles and the stars and moon were reflected on it. It felt like magic.