Highly Inappropriate

10.

"You sure..?", I asked, extremely relieved that he was smart enough to own his own mistakes.

"Positive.", he assured me. "I have absolutely no intention to turn into that poor excuse for a human being such as our lovely daddy.", he spat, his eyes full of anger at his mention. "I'm so glad-"

"Don't.", I whispered under my breath as I shut my eyes and raised my hand for him to shut up. I definitely didn't need to hear what he was about to say.

"Sorry..", he mumbled.

"Back to us.", I cleared my throat and pulled myself together. "I'm glad we cleared that up. Moving on..", I trailed off, slightly embarrassed.

"Oh god, please no Alex.", he whined, covering his face behind his hands and turning red.

"I'm sorry, Matt. I have to.", I chuckled, trying to loosen up the situation. "Trust me, this is no fun for me just as much as it isn't for you."

"Come on! I didn't even make it to having sex goddamit!"

"What about sex?", Jess appeared in the kitchen behind me, clearly amused.

"Well, great! Do we wanna call our neighbors too at this point? It's not like this whole situation couldn't get any more embarrassing anyways.", Matt theatrically threw his arms into the air causing me to laugh at him.

"I may have walked in on Matt and a girl-"

"Matt!!!! You popped your cherry?!", Jess squealed as she jumped towards him and hugged him.

"God. Please. Kill me. Now.", Matt mumbled before slipping away from Jess's grip and pleading me with his eyes. "Can I go now? Please?"

"Yes, you can.", I chuckled, as he shot up from his seat. "But, wait. Just let me tell you a few last things, then I'll never bother you about this ever again. Despite the fact that I think that you're too young to be having sex, I also know that you'll do it anyways, whether or not I allow you. So, with that being said: please, be respectful towards the girl and be the gentleman that I know you can be; please, always wear a condom; girls are not allowed to stay the night unless I agree to it; and lastly, no sex in the house."

"Wait, What?!", he scoffed in disbelief. "Where am I supposed to go?! But, most importantly: why would that rule apply to me but not to you?! It's unfair!"

"Fair point.", Jess pointed out.

"Not. Helping.", I hissed at her.

"Seriously, you'd rather have me messing around somewhere in the streets instead of in my own goddamn room?"

"My house, my rul-"

"May I suggest a win win solution?", Jess jumped in, winking confidently at Matt, earning a hopeful smile from him and a silent death sentence from me.

"What about no sex when Alex is home?", she smirked devilishly.

"What?! I'm never home J-"

"Deal!", Matt obviously agreed on the spot. "Thank you Jess, I owe you one!", he yelled, already halfway up the stairs before I could even reply.

"How is that a win win for me, exactly?!", I snapped my head towards Jess.

"Well, your brother won't have sex in a public place therefore he won't get his ass arrested in the process, and you won't be around the house to hear about it. So, win win.", she excitedly concluded before planting a kiss on my cheek and flashing me a satisfied grin.

"Ugh, I give up.", I rolled my eyes, raising my hands in defeat and grabbing two beers from the fridge, handing one to Jess.

"Shouldn't you be at work, by the way?", she frowned, taking a sip from the bottle.