Hoping for the best, expecting the worst

Chapter 39: My mess

Phoenix (POV)

"But what are you gonna say how I'm your mate well you made your choice on your birthday and I'm pretty sure you're pack elders are going to be happy about that!" Red shouted with an emotion I couldn't name at the time.
"Your selfish and I hope you and your pack never need my help."

I left feeling like shit. I can't believe that I thought Red would have warmed to me so easily. I hated myself and I wanted to scream and cry. So I decided to leave Jason with Alistair and went to my special place.

I had built it from the ground up it was like my small piece of Eden. The journey up the stairs was long but it was worth it. When I reached the top I broke down. I had done what my father had taught me not to do. I felt like I was on a race track unable to take that one crucial pit stop.

"AAAAHHHHH" I shouted at the top of my lungs and I didn't care who heard. I just wanted to stop everything. I needed a reset button. Then I felt another presence on my roof with the faint smell of honey comb.

"I forgot how beautiful this place was," Red remarked as he stared at the sky. I couldn't really understand why he followed me. I still felt like shit and it was all my own fault.

"Why did you follow me?" I asked unwilling to look at him directly. I heard footsteps moving closer to me.

"Firstly you didn't let me finish my conversation and secondly I thought as the kids say now yeet your self off something," he said as I slowly looked up. The light was bouncing off his face and I could see his eyes changing colour. "You had that sort of aura and as much as I don't exactly like the situation I'm in it's a catch 22 if I reject you I won't get to support my pack with full power and if I don't you will cause me pain that I never asked for."

I wanted to tell him that nothing bad would happen again but in the pit of my stomach I knew it wasn't over. I loved the way he looked, his hair going in all directions.

"I don't know what'll happen in the future but I know that nothing will change my mind now," I say staring into his red eyes "we are on equal terms alpha to alpha and I won't abandon you and my secondary house would be an exact half way point for us to meet."

He looked at me shocked and stepped closer to me. I didn't really know what to do so I winged it. I stretched out my arms and he came into my embrace.

"I didn't expect that but I also don't want to keep being some secret but your elders are not going to like that and tomorrow I'm meeting a werebear to see if I can do some training in England for a year," he looked sad and I must have looked a state "you would still have a couple of months with me and we can be a normal couple with the dates and all the cringeworthy stuff and don't forget the week in Korea."

I deserve this but I'm not going to let him go without us being in a normal healthy relationship. He deserves the world and I plan on giving it to him. I wanted to feel the warmth of our embrace before talking again. It felt magical and I felt even more of a dick. I hate myself for what I did. Even more so because of what my father told me of his real mate, my real mom. He told me couldn't tell me before because otherwise I could not act like a son to my now step mother. I hated the fact I had been lied to my whole life but my father had his reasons.

"I will do this and get it right and I promise I'll help you with your alpha shit and you can help with mine and we can do all the normal things and we'll going on dates just to fool around but honestly I just want to finally be in a happy relationship," I replied and he looked relieved but to be honest I just wanted to have a mate. All because of my stupid actions my mate nearly died.
"I'm sorry, Red I'm very sorry you had to go through pain because of me."

The lights from the building were light enough to see Red's face but dim enough to see the stars. The wind was picking up slightly and I could feel chill of the air. I love looking at the stars and just thinking. Red had moved to be next to me.

"What ever we go through we go through it together it's either your with me or your not, you need my support just as much as I need yours," he said and put his hand out and turned his head towards me.

"Now that's somethin' we can do and I promise to tell you everythin' ,"  I replied clasping my hand in his. I felt Arti become strengthened and I felt like running to tell the world.

"You feel like a run?" He asked and I nodded.

Unknown (POV)

'Fina- fucking- ly what is wrong with mortals sometimes, they never see the bigger picture' I thought as I walked down the halls trying to avoid my relatives. All I wanted was to see my mates again but to actually stay with them. My father thought that I should be like him and fuck anything that moves. My mother hated it and loved it all at the same time. My only worry was that someone else might get added to the mix of testosterone.