safety pin

Chapter 21

"It's fine, tell me." I smiled back to be polite. I don't realize how much I care about that book until it gets brought up, it's unfinished and it has a lot of flaws that will take time to work on, but it's my unfinished flawed book. I poured my heart out in it, I've never held on something as hard as I did for this book.

"As for our last conversation..." He paused, giving me a second to recall what we talked about, "I didn't exactly talk you through whatever you're going through, so I felt like doing right by you this time." He chuckled, earning from me another smile to let him continue.

"So...emotions. They are irrational, crazy and hard to understand. But we need them. We all need them. I tried to run away from them at some point in my life as well, closing them off, denying them for all the pain they brought me, but I also understood what it felt like to run away...it sucked." He started to explain, his eyes spaced into the nothingness as if he was returning back to times where things were a lot worse than now, where he found hurt and abandonment. It's hard to imagine Daniel facing hardship, or how he would be like broken and alone. The thought alone shuddered me, he deserves nothing but the happiness he's been receiving now.

"Everyone of us has his own special way to survive the cruelty of this world, yours happens to be writing. So, no matter what you face in this world or feel about it, you just keep writing. Don't let it shut you down, be the reason that motivates you to write even more." I found his hands reaching for my shoulders when he finished talking as some kind of support.

"Daniel..." I was speechless. I never realized the wisdom that could come out of him, I pretty much underestimated it even though he was always trying to show it to me this whole time. I didn't want to give him a chance back then, not realizing that by giving it to him would be the best thing I could ever do in this messed up life of mine.

"The world ain't all sunshine and flowers, pumpkin." He said. "I may have overdone it with 'pumpkin', but you get what I mean." He chuckled again, lightning up the mood. I chuckled as well.

"That was everything I've ever wished someone would tell me, I can't thank you enough, Daniel." I admittedly said. I don't usually know how to show my gratitude to someone, but at times in my life where I feel lost with no clue of finding the guidance to the right path and someone reaches out in the middle of all these darkness to pull me back is the best gift I can ever receive.

"You don't have to thank me in any way! That's what friends are fo-" Without even giving the chance to continue, I was the one who pulled him in a really tight hug this time. He recovered from the sudden hug, but quickly embraced it and hugged me back. I secretly wiped a tear that was starting to fall from my eye with a smile on my face.

"That was unexpected, but very welcomed." He joked, making me giggle.

"Would it be okay if I asked for your help here and there?" I found myself asking.

"I...I wouldn't want anything else more." He said, pretending to be unaffected with my suggestion, but it was clear that it made him very happy that I'm starting to finally let him in and reach out. After that, he left and I took my time to breathe in some fresh air and clear my mind before deciding to go back to my office.

It's not easy to guide yourself through something you have no idea how it will turn out in the end. All you can do is blindly trust your gut, and see the results of your own decisions. It doesn't sound so encouraging when I put it this way; that I'm responsible for my own path, and it would've been so much easier if someone else took control over my life and decided everything for me. All I know right now is that it does get clearer from time to time, even if I failed or had a step back. At some point, I'll be able to get past it and step forward again to a whole new set of mistakes to learn from.