safety pin

Chapter 1

"Not everyone you lose is a loss."

-

"But, Jack, you told me that you're going to come with me." I whined to my boyfriend.

"I'm going with my friends to the game; I can't miss it for a stupid hang out." He rudely said, standing up. I watch him as he takes a cigarette from his jacket's pocket, lighting it up with a lighter and then frustratingly walking back and forth in my bedroom, it was something he always do when he try not to get mad.

"A stupid hang out?"

"Yes, I've been waiting for this game for so long, I have to go. You'll be fine without me there, you have your friends, and I promise you I will come with you next time." He tried to make it look so simple and actually smiled to make me believe that everything is just fine, but I know what he's trying to do.

"This is the fifth promise and you never come!" I yelled angrily, having enough of this boring conversation already. I just don't know why he never agrees on going with me anywhere, he always chooses his friends over me. 

"Jade." He stopped his pacing as his voice was full of anger now.

"I am not coming with you and that's final." he grabbed his phone from the bed, storming out of the room as seconds later I heard the door of my apartment shut closed. I sighed to myself hopelessly.

Ever since I knew Jack, I was so in love with him, everything was perfect about him. The way he dressed up, the way he treated me and how he was there for me whenever I needed him. Without him, my life would be missing something; it would be empty. I couldn't even think about losing him.

Everything was picture perfect before; he was my source of happiness and my light in the dark. Even though every day we fight like an old married couple, at the end of the day we know that our love is worth it all and because we love each other so much I thought that we will always find a way back.

Days went by and he just keep changing for the worse, nothing went back to the way it was before, and yet I still find ways to forgive him like nothing happened. Every time I tell my best friend, Candice, she always advice me to dump him. I've been seriously thinking about it for over a month now, but unloving him is hard.Sometimes I hate myself for being that weak, for not fighting for what's right for me and for forgetting every bad he has done by just a simple apology and a flower.

I just can't understand how come what once was my source of happiness be the cause of my sorrow?

As I sat here starting at the ground, I asked myself my everyday questions; what am I going to do now? Bail on my friends again because of him?

no

not this time

I got up, walked to the mirror and stared at my sad, pathetic reflection. I looked terrible. I tried to put this all aside and did my makeup, within a few minutes I was done. I texted my friends that I'm coming, and of course they were surprised and excited. After all, It's been a long while since we went out together as I always bail on them.

-

"This is not even the best part of the story guys, he gave me the tickets for free!" Candice said in excitement and they all cheered for this good news.

My little group of friends and I were in the mall, Candice was talking about some concert tickets to their favorite artist and because I didn't have a favorite artist, I didn't really care about it. I just faked some excitement and took a sip from my drink.