THE TRANSFER STUDENT

The Truth, Pt. 2

Jieun recalled that night, when she had returned from her trip to the convenience store, skipping back towards Somi's apartment when suddenly, it erupted into flames. Jieun was so consumed by her shock at first, that she had just stood there for a few minutes, her eyes and mouth wide open. Then when the shock finally settled in, and she realised what she had done, she called the ambulance, but couldn't bear to stay there any longer when they arrived.

Technically, she had run away from responsibility. If she was the one who was responsible for the fire, she could be criminally charged. Perhaps that was what worsened her mental trauma - she spent the following days and weeks and months worrying about whether anyone would come find her and hold her responsible for what she did.

Every time she heard a knock on the door, she'd crumble a little inside. But an entire year passed and no one came looking for her... and she slowly started to get over the trauma, even though she'd never forget that she was the one who could have stopped it all. That's why she began to fear fire from that day - it was a deadly weapon - a weapon that took her best friend's life.

"You aren't, Jieun," Jungkook nodded. "You are the one responsible for the fire, but you aren't the one who was responsible for Somi's death. Somi- she- she passed away from a heart failure that night."

"How can it be?" Jieun blinked rapidly. "Heart failure? She never told me that she had heart failure- I mean, I would have known if she had a heart problem, I hung out with her everyday, how can I possibly-"

"Neither did she tell me, Jieun," Jungkook spoke quietly. "She hid a lot of secrets from everyone, that girl. I'm sure she didn't even tell you about my existence. Till this day, I can never understand the way my sister thought, but I'm sure she had a reason for everything she did. Especially for this case - she wanted to leave quietly, maybe she put on a strong front for you, or covered up her lie with more lies."

"No-" Jieun shook her head firmly. "No way! Somi was healthy, she laughed a lot, we did so many activities together, we ate together, she was healthy- there's no way she could possibly have heart..." Jieun's voice trailed away, as realisation took over her. "She was putting up a strong front, for me."

Somi was indeed a happy-go-lucky girl. She laughed a lot, played a lot and was one of the only people Jieun knew who completely understood how to enjoy life to its fullest.

But there were signs - signs that Jieun missed out.

That time when Jieun invited Somi out to ice-skate and she kept trying to turn her down, saying that she was tired. Jieun had pointed out her shortness of breath and asked her if she was okay, and Somi had brushed her off, telling her that it was because she had just gone for a run. Jieun had believed her then, because she was sweaty too - and why would she doubt anything her best friend told her?

Or the time Somi almost threw up in the middle of an exam. Before Jieun had even asked her for the reason, she laughed sheepishly and told her that she hadn't eaten breakfast, so she felt queasy. What a bunch of lies Somi had told her then, but Jieun only realised all that now - when it was way too late.

Her appetite had decreased by leaps and bounds over the years too. When Jieun had pointed it out, Somi just said she was on a diet. Though Jieun never understood why she had to be on a diet when she was already skin and bones, she respected that. Somi lost so much weight in a couple of months - and Jieun now knew why.

Shortness of breath, sweating, nausea, chest pains and the lack of appetite... Jieun was such a fool. And in the last couple of months, she hadn't seen Somi doing any form of exercise in school at all. Even during P.E., she'd sit out. But when Jieun asked her why, Somi would triumphantly hold up her excuse letter and make up all sorts of excuses - headache, menstrual cramps, stomach pain, ankle injury-

Why hadn't she seen the signs?

And then there were the times when Somi completely skipped school, telling Jieun that she just felt like skipping. And Jieun would come looking for her after school, but she wouldn't be at home. It was such a clear sign, perhaps Somi wanted her to find out, but she never did, and she felt horrible.

"She looked so weak when I found her in her room that night," Jungkook continued. "Her lips were all purple. But she still forced a smile when she saw me-" Jungkook's voice was cracked and caught in bis throat. "She always never forgot to smile, even when it must have been so exhausting and painful for her."

"She was in pain the entire time and I didn't even realise," Jieun let her own words sink in. "I'm such a bad friend."

"That's not the point, Jieun," Jungkook swallowed hard as he placed a hand on Jieun's shoulder. "Somi would never want to see you like this - and what's more misunderstand that she had died in the fire, when she had passed away after fighting hard on the hospital bed for 6 hours straight."

"Could it be," Jieun's eyes widened all of a sudden. "Could it possibly be that the fire-"

"No," Jungkook thumbed her down immediately. "It was an existing condition, Jieun. When they rushed her to the hospital, I found out so much about what she'd been hiding from me over the past few months. My uncle, behind my back, had been helping her with the medical fees and all that- and he had made a promise to her not to tell me - that was what she wanted. But no, the fire was the fire, the heart failure was the heart failure - the doctor confirmed that there was no correlation."

Jieun didn't know how to feel. Confused? Angry? Relieved? Upset?

"I spent the past one year in therapy..." Jieun brooded. "Thinking that I had caused my own best friend's death- Why didn't she leave me a letter? It would have cleared up so much doubts I had, how can she just leave me behind without any signals and any form of something I could remember her with? You're lucky, Jungkook, you really are- the fact that she left you a letter and her necklace too. Maybe you meant more to her than I ever did, even though she was my entire world, she really was..."

"It doesn't mean that if she didn't leave you anything, you didn't mean anything to her, Jieun," Jungkook said gently, having calmed down a lot. "You meant a lot to her, she even wanted to introduce you to me - as you saw in the letter."

Jieun closed her eyes, trying to process everything she had heard in the past hour. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? If you knew why I was avoiding you, why didn't you come and confront me? If only you knew how guilty I felt for the past year-"

"I only found out that you were acquainted with Somi a couple of days ago, when your dad passed me the photo album. I didn't know you were the best friend Somi always told me about. But around that time, you told me you hated me as well. You told me you didn't like me anymore, I was hurt-" Jungkook paused. "Because I knew the cause of my sister's death, never would I have imagined that you misunderstood it to be your fault - because it isn't. Only until a while ago when you told me that you were responsible, I was so confused. I needed to hear more before finally forming a conclusion. I'm sorry."