Hey, Celia? | ✔️

Chapter Two

Hello.

...is it me you're looking for?

Wait. How did you know I was looking for someone? Can you see me? That's actually really disturbing.

No way, you are?!

Also, that's a Lionel Richie lyric, you uncultured swine. I didn't actually know you were looking for someone.

Oh.

Wow, you're such a great conversationalist, sweetums. It amazes me.

Yeah, well, conversation isn't really my forte.

Nor is it mine.

So... you're a girl, right?

I appreciate your attempt at continuing the conversation, but that wasn't a very smooth subject change, sweetums.

Anywho, that's presumptuous of you, but yes, I am. Two x chromosomes, a period, and all.

Oh, okay. Didn't need to know the second thing.

What? A period?

Ew, yeah, that.

P e r i o d.

P
  E
     R
        I
          O
             D

Per...

...iod

Stop it.

Why are you so grossed out? It's just a word.

It's what the word references!

Aw, hun, it's only natural.

You see...

When a woman gets to be a certain age...

Oh God no stop

Their body is old enough for pregnancy, but in the event that...

You're dragging this on just to torture me.

...in the event that no spermies make an appearance...

Please stop.

Well, since you said please... I'm sure you can find all of this on the internet, anyway, sweetums. But if you have any questions, you can come to me. I won't judge. A first period can be frightening for a young woman like you, sweetums, and what are best friends for if not to be there when awkward questions need to be asked?

I'm a guy.

I know, hun.

Guys don't get periods.

Unfortunately.

You're definitely different.

I'd rather be different in a world of sameness than a product of sameness in a world of diversity.

That makes no sense.

I make no sense. Just accept it, best friend.

Believe me, I've noticed your lack of making sense.

As have I.

I know. You already said that.

Thank you for informing me. I truly hadn't realized! What would I do without my helpful, informative little sweetums?

Stop.

Collaborate and listen?

No. Just stop.

Right there because you need to know right now?

No! Just Stop, period.

There's that word again! And you used it. I'm proud of you, best friend. You're growing up to be such a classy, mature young woman. :')

Lmao, you're so weird.

And you, sir, are a liar. I know for a fact you're not actually laughing.

A fact, huh? The evidence is weak.

You just used my line. I knew you loved me.

First of all, it's not your line. You said it once. Also, I prefer the term abhor, but whatever floats your fucking weird ass boat.

Details, details. Also, tsk. Language, princess.

Steve, is that you?

NO WAY. YOU LIKE MARVEL, TOO?

Who doesn't? Marvel > DC.

I. Love. You.

Woah, babe. You should at least take me out on a date before you go professing your love to me.

I

Don't

Know

How

To

Reply

To

This

Clearly, by the fact that you sent each word as its own message.

S

O

R

R

Y

?

Oh, it's worse now. You've sent each letter as its own message.