Hey, Celia? | ✔️

Chapter One

(I'm basically only posting this for you ShawnM11, so feel special. Okay bye-)

It's 4:36 a.m. and I'm thinking way too hard again.

Indeed it is 4:36 a.m., and I think you have the wrong number.

You mean to tell me you're not May, my 5'1, pink and blue haired older sister?

Nope. Unfortunately I can't pull off the whole cotton candy look.

Ah, then this just became awkward.

You think?

On occasion, I do think, yes. Thank you for asking.

...okay, well this is now more awkward.

Why do you have such good grammar?

What?

Dude, have you seen how people text nowadays? "sup lol oml ion wanna gt skewl cuz it sux. staying in is better, sis. lol hbu, bih?" you're as rare as a unicorn.

That is physically painful for me to read. Also, I have good grammar because unlike most 17 year old boys, I'm aware of the importance of words.

Hm. You just revealed your age and gender to what could be a 58 and a half year old ex-con. Not a smart move.

That's oddly specific.

Which makes it all the more realistic.

I don't know about you, but as far as I know, 58 year old ex-convicts don't typically text their short ass blue and pink haired older sister at 4:36 a.m. because they're thinking too hard.

Maybe they do. Why do you have to assume?

...because I'm a teenager? Isn't this the time where I'm meant to be stupid and presumptuous and slowly grow in character?

That's bullshit. Some teenagers know and go through just as much as some adults and are more mature than adults. Difference is, it's not validated because even though we have no say in it, we haven't hit the age where our problems are actually problems rather than simple teenage angst and dramatic tendencies.

Wow. A lot of passion in that. You speaking from experience?

Actually, I'm not speaking at all. I'm texting. I thought that was obvious.

Lmao, great avoidance of the question and yeah, you're definitely a teen.

I never said that.

You included yourself in 'we' when talking about teenage problems and then you used a shit ton amount of sarcasm within one message. You're definitely a teen.

Dang. My life aspiration to be a 58 and a half year old ex-con was short-lived then, huh?

And meh, I prefer the term chidult. Teen has negative connotations and chidult sounds like it could be a mythical creature in Greek Mythology.

Like a chimera?

You know Greek mythology?!

Indeed.

Did we just become best friends?

No, I don't think that's how that works.

Oh, that was a test. See if you had said, "yep!" like in Stepbrothers, that would've solidified our unbreakable bond but you failed the test. I'm so sorry. That must be a devastating blow for you.