gangsta - riverdale sweet pea

74

Maybe everything happens for a reason? Maybe it doesn't? Maybe god is real? Maybe he isn't? Who the fuck knows? Not me, that's for sure. All I know, is that I must have been an evil fuck in my past life to be gifted with these things.

Being back at school was the hardest. Everyone saw me have a miscarriage, I mean everyone. I bet they all think I'm a whore, that I'm pathetic and that I cheated on Sweet Pea too. This is the thing about rumours. They're so very rarely true, but have the power to ruin someone. I so seldom find someone who is happy to have rumours spread about them, good or bad.

Going back to school a week after my miscarriage may have been too quick, but I really needed this for my sanity, not that I had any left.

My depression has skyrocketed. The worst it's ever been. It's like my brain is covered in darkness and it feels like in every situation something bad is going to happen. It feels like my body is constantly on lockdown and I'm actually a camera just following my dormant body around like a zombie.

It feels like Sweet Pea is a random guy, which sounds awful but I can't help how I feel. I'm constantly paranoid that he'll leave me or shout at me for changing. My eyes haven't been graced with a good nights sleep in a week, meaning they were reddened and bloodshot.

His hand was intertwined with mine, which is the only thing that felt familiar to my senses. Even the school looked different, the floors looked longer and the hall seemed to go on forever. My headphones blasted out the familiar tunes on my playlist, which Sweet Pea had put together for me. He had made a playlist of upbeat music that should bring up my mood.

It wasn't working.

Eventually, we went to lesson and I ended up sandwiched between Fangs and Sweet Pea.

They did my work for me, realising that I was paying no attention and that I probably would need these notes later. The teacher didn't mind though, he just smiled and carried on with the lesson.

"Sweet Pea! Please could you go to room 154 and go grab my glasses? I can't leave the class but I really do need them" Mr Evershed asked politely.

"Yeah sure" He nodded,

He leant down to me and kissed me gently.

"I love you so much, Sweet Pea"

"I love you more" he smiled, walking out of the class with extreme amounts of pride.

A few moments passed and I took my turn to leave.

"Sir, could I use the bathroom?" I asked aloud, people were shocked at the sound of my voice as they hadn't heard it in weeks.

"Of course, just hurry back" Mr Evershed said.

I nodded and rushed out of the classroom.

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Sweet Pea's POV

"Where is she?" I asked Fangs when I sat back down in the class.

"Urm she went to the bathroom" He laughed slightly, shrugging his shoulders.

"Okay" I nodded, calming down slightly.

However, as the minutes passed, something didn't seem right. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. 15 minutes.

I shot out of my seat suddenly, leaving the classroom without a word. Quickly, I rushed to the girls bathroom on this floor, barging in despite the looks I was receiving.

"Ew get out you perv!" One whiny girl said with a look of disgust.

"Is Ally in here?" I asked frantically, only just noticing the room of empty stalls.

Nope.

I rushed out and ran to our lockers, just in case she was grabbing her stuff to leave. Only when I got to my locker did I notice something hanging out of the grates in the door.

Sweet Pea Xx

I ripped open the envelope and pulled out the note, reading it swiftly as panic began to build up in my body.

I want you to know that I have never loved anybody as much as I love you. You have brightened up my life when I thought there was nothing else to live for. I'm so sorry that it has to end this way, that I can't be brave enough to tell you this to your face. I can't do this anymore. When you have read this, give it straight to the sheriff. Don't think about going to my trailer because I don't want you to be the one to find me, okay? I'm sorry to leave you all in such a cowardly way, but I can not live like this anymore. I'll be happier soon.

I will love you, always and forever.

Ally xx

Tears already pricked at my eyes and before I'd even read the end I had rushed from the school in a panicked state. She hasn't done this, no way. She's lying. The one day that we take the truck to school, she leaves. Why the fuck did we not come on my bike? That way there would be no chance of her being home yet. But no, of course we came in the truck. I let her drive this morning, she had the keys. Of course she had the keys. She'd planned this all out didn't she?

My legs felt numb as I ran all the way from the north side to the south side. I pulled my phone out, dialling FPs number as fast as I could whilst also sprinting along the roadside.

"Hey Sweet Pea, everything good?" He asked cheerily.

"No- it's Ally she's- I don't know just come to the trailer as soon as you can" I said hastily.

"Woah, are you running? I can't hear you Pea-"

"FP just get your ass home as quickly as you can, it's Ally I think she's in trouble" I shouted, ending the phone so my full concentration was on Ally.