Grown Woman (Sequel to "Be Without You") [Completed]

26

Shawn's POV

I ran to the bathtub and pulled her body up out of the water and she gasped for air. She just looked up at me with fear in her eyes as I lied her down on the floor.

"I got you, Bey, just stay with me, I got you," I said to her. I swear it was a mix between the grace of God and pure adrenaline that even allowed me to think straight in this moment, but I'm glad that I could.

I quickly called 911 and after getting off the phone with them, looked down to her wrists that were gushing blood, leaving a puddle of blood on the bathroom floor. I knew I needed to try to stop the bleeding if she was even going to make it until the ambulance got here.

Luckily we have a pretty well-supplied first aid kit, with two four year olds at home, so I grabbed some bandages and wrapped them tightly around her wrists, the blood was still coming through but I figured it was better than nothing.

Next, I put some clothes on her and then just picked her up and held her close to me.

"Stay with me Bey, please just stay with me," I told her. As I watched the life fade out of her eyes, I held her and cried, "Please stay with me, please stay with me."

I heard sirens approach the house and told the twins to go in their room and get changed into their pajamas so they wouldn't see me carry their lifeless mother down to the ambulance. I didn't think that'd be a sight they'd ever recover from. Hell, I don't know if I'll ever recover from this.

I explained to the paramedics what happened and they immediately started working on Bey in the back of the ambulance.

"You coming?" one of the paramedics asked.

I looked at Bey, then back at the house, knowing that I couldn't leave an infant and two four year olds home alone, but also knowing that Beyoncé could actually die, and this would be my last time getting to see her.

"I can't, I have three kids...where are you taking her?"

"Mount Sinai is closest," he answered.

I nodded, "Just save her, please."

"We'll do everything we can," he answered before closing the door to the ambulance and driving off.

I frantically pulled out my phone and called Ty, letting him know there's an emergency and asking if I could drop the kids off with him, he was home and said it was fine so I got everything for the kids ready and dropped them off as fast as possible before speeding to the hospital myself.

"Hi, I'm looking for Beyoncé Carter, I'm her husband," I said to the ER receptionist.

She typed something into a computer and then looked back up at me, "You can have a seat over there," she said pointing to the waiting area, "the doctor will come and update you when they're ready."

Fuck, I thought to myself. That can't be a good sign.

I went to sit down and when my body hit the chair it was like all of the emotions hit at once and I buried my head in my hands and started crying.

All I could think was I should have saved her. I should've gotten to her sooner tonight, I should've forced her to get help sooner, I should've been there. There was so much I could've done that I didn't...and if she doesn't make it out of this tonight, I'll never forgive myself.

After sitting in agony for what felt like eternity, I head a doctor call, "Mr. Carter?"

I immediately stood up and ran over to her, "Yes?!"

"Mr. Carter, your wife lost a lot of blood, we even lost her at one point but we were able to revive her, we gave her a sedative to help with the pain, so she's sleeping right now, but you can go see her."

"Oh thank God," I said, rubbing my hands over my face, "Thank you."

"The paramedics said that you wrapped up her wrists to stop the bleeding...you saved her life."

I nodded, not knowing how to respond to that. I didn't feel like I saved her life, I felt like I was somehow responsible for her being where she is right now in the first place. I was the one who pushed her to have Maia after all.

The doctor led to me to her room and left me alone with her. I pulled up a chair next to her bed and just held her hand and cried.

"Beyoncé, I don't know if you can hear me or not, but, I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry that I let it come to this. I'm so sorry that I let you slip away from me for so long without getting help. I should've fought harder for you and I'm so sorry. I'm gonna do everything in my power to help you. You said that we'd be better off without you, but that's not true. I remember life without you. I remember 16 years without you being the worst 16 years of my life, and the time that we've had together since you introduced me to Skai has been the best years of my life. You're everything, Beyoncé. You and the kids are everything, I don't want to ever have to live without you. When I married you, we said in sickness and in health, so I'm not going anywhere. I need you, and the kids need their mom, so don't ever think for a second that we'd be better off without you. I love you, so much, and even if you can't love me right now, I'm not gonna stop loving you and fighting for you."

--

I must've fallen asleep at some point in the chair because I heard Beyoncé calling me, "Shawn, Shawn!" At first I thought it was a dream but when I opened my eyes I saw Beyoncé awake and talking to me.

"Bey! You're awake!"

"Yeah, I'm awake and I'm fine...so can we go home now?"

My eyes widened, "Home? HOME?! (Soulja boy voice 💀) You tried to kill yourself, Beyoncé."

"And I'm fine now...I had one bad night, okay? I need to go home, I need to see my children. Where are they? Why aren't you with them?"

I sat down on the bed and put my hands on her arms, trying to calm her down, but she just tried to squirm out of my grip.

"The kids are at Ty's house...they're fine. Bey, you're not going home for a while. You're going up to the psych unit."

She chuckled bitterly, "The psych unit?! Are you fucking kidding me, I'm not agreeing to that."

"You don't have to! You tried to kill yourself, you think you're just gonna go and be at home with the kids by yourself everyday after that?! You need help, it's okay."

"My children need their mom, Shawn, I can't be away from them, I can't," she said, starting to cry.

"They need their mother to be healthy, they don't need you like this, you can't be there for them like this, I'm sorry. This isn't optional anymore, you're getting help."

She started to hyperventilate as she tried to push me off over her.

"Get away from me, get out of my face," she cried.

I sighed and moved back to the chair that I was sitting in before.

"Look, Beyoncé, you wanna yell at me? You wanna tell me to go away? You wanna be a mess? Be a mess, I can take it. What I can't take is continuing to ignore this problem and hoping that it will just get better on its own because it's not going to."

"When I get out of here...we're over," she said, before turning to face away from me.