Abroad

Chapter 65

*C H A R L O T T E*

When I arrive home I look up. I've always loved the stars. I make a wish and hope for a sign because I don't know what to do. Do I go back to Cardiff? Will I be able to face Hero? Or do I stay home? If I stay home, will I date Tommy? There's too much going on in my life. I feel like I'm drowning.

*H E R O*

I'm on my back watching the stars. I wonder what she's doing now. Every day I ask her friends if they have heard from her but they haven't. With each minute of silence I feel her slipping away. I tried to hate her when she left but now I find myself wondering about her all the time. I'm a mess. What is she doing? Is she still hurting? Is she with Tommy? I can't imagine that, not after what he did.

*C H A R L O T T E*

The next day I'm meeting Tommy again to visit Bruges. It's a beautiful historical city but also very romantic. It's a nice and sunny day so we're lucky. While walking over the tiny bridges between the ancient buildings I feel like I can breathe again. Hero's betrayal doesn't hurt that much anymore. Time apart is good and for the first time I'm absolutely sure that staying here is the best choice I can possibly make. Tommy takes my small hand in his and it actually feels good. I've waited too long to have this, I can't just walk away now.

"You got more tattoos while I was away," I smile at him.

"I did. You know how much I love them!" He shows the new images on his arms. "I have about seven now." I've always loved the ones he had but seven is a bit much.

"Are you planning on getting some more?" We continue talking about the pros and cons of tattoos.

"Oh my god! You can do a tour through the city with a horse and carriage! I didn't know they still did that!" I squeal excited.

"We should go for a tour!" He walks to a white horse and pays the lady standing next to it. "Come on Lottie!" He takes my hand and helps me in. I can't the deny that there's romance in the air. He takes my hand again and smiles at me. Wow, he's really trying. He's never been one to show affection. We enjoy the views and the company. We talk like we always used to, it's like I never left.

After our tour he takes me to a restaurant for a candlelight dinner.

"You hate fancy restaurants!" I whisper when the waiter leaves our table.

"I know," he smiles. "But I want to show you I can make an effort for you." He takes my hand and smiles again. We have a nice and tasty dinner. I love that he's doing something he hates just to please me. Tommy knows how much I love a good restaurant.

He drops me off at home and opens my door.

"Thank you, I had a lovely day!" I want to give him a quick hug but he holds me in place. I look into his grey eyes but they're ice cold, they don't look at me the way Hero used to. Suddenly I'm not sure if Tommy means all the things he said to me during the last couple of days. He puts his hands on my hips and places a kiss on my lips. They're not as soft as Hero's and they definitely don't spark the fireworks inside me. I don't really feel anything. He pushes his tongue inside and I try to respond to his kiss but I can't. His kiss is not as I've imagined. He's terrible at it, not like Hero at all. I step away and he scowls at me.

"What?" he snaps.

"I'm sorry, Tommy but I can't do this and I can't be with you." I start walking away.

"He won't take you back!" he spits. "Why would he? There are billions of skinny girls begging for his attention."

"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. We can still be friends though." I purposely use the same words he did all those months ago. I turn my back and walk away. It feels good. I finally feel free. Maybe he's right, maybe Hero doesn't want me back but I don't want to be with him either. I can't keep running away if someone breaks my heart. I need to go back to Cardiff and make my film. I need to finish what I've started and graduate.