Monster

Chapter Sixteen

Kirishima's POV

It's been a few days and not a whole lot of my memory has come back, just little bits here and there. It's been driving me crazy, but I'm not going to let anyone else know that. My hair is back to red so I'm feeling a little more in place. Katsuki constantly asks how I'm doing and it's the same answer every time, 'I'm fine'.

But I'm not.

Katsuki and I are sitting on my bed trying to catch up on all the school work we missed. But along with memories of my friends, memories of school have disappeared as well. But I wasn't really trying to study, I was staring straight ahead trying to remember my life. Suddenly, out of frustration, I yelled and threw my book across the room.
"AAAGGGHHH! WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER ANYTHING!" I screamed, causing Katsuki to jump.
"Geez. You okay?"
"No I'm not! I can't remember my friends! I can't remember the past year of my life! I can't remember any happy moment in my life!"
"I-"
"The only thing I can remember is pain!" I felt hot tears start to fill my eyes, and I didn't stop it.
"You've been pretending to be okay this whole time?" He looked at me sadly, it hurt to see him so sad. I looked down, not wanting to look him in the eyes. I nodded.
"Yeah...."
"Ei, you don't have to lie to me."
Well guess I'm crying now. I cried for a long time with Katsuki just hugging me, he didn't pressure me to talk. So I didn't, I just cried.

Bakugou's POV

I knew it, he's been pretending. I'll never understand the pain he hides constantly, I hope one day I will. I really want to be here for him, but he's been through so much and refuses to open up to people. I know right now he just needs someone to hold him, so that's what I'm going to do.
I don't now how long we stayed there hugging, but eventually he calmed down. He wore himself out. He was practically asleep.
"You should go to bed Eiji." I said after ten minutes of silence. He just grunted in response. He's really out of it. I looked at his face, his eyes closed, slightly puffy and red from crying. Then I looked at his lips, his perfect lips. It would be so easy to kiss him right now. He's so tiered he probably wouldn't even remember in the morning. I placed my hands on his face leaning in slightly. Gosh, I want to so bad. Kiri made a soft little hum. I leaned in further. He's so close.......no. I can't. He's straight, I don't want to ruin our friendship. He's really special to me so if I have to settle with being just friends, then that's what I'll do. He's really confused right now, I don't want to make it worse. My life has been so much happier with him in it. I have to savor it. I pulled away before I did something I would regret. I laid Kirishima's down, pulled the covers over him, and reluctantly walked to the door. I looked back one last time, hearing his soft breathing.
"Goodnight Eijiro, sleep well my love." I said walking out the door. Usually I would be disgusted by words so sweet. But I don't care, I really love him.

Kirishima's POV

I woke up to a stream of sunlight in my eyes, I sat up and blinked a couple of times. Don't you just love it when you wake up don't remember falling asleep in the first place. I can't believe I fell asleep when Katsuki was comforting me last night. I can't believe I just sat there crying for so long. He must of thought I was weak.

He did.

No, no not them again. This voice in my head has been quiet for a while, I don't want them coming back now. A long time ago I heard this voice, and soon they just became a part of me. A part I hated. I named them, Akuma. (Akuma means devil or demon) They're the ones who tell me to hurt myself, to kill myself. When I got into UA they were  quiet, because I was happy.

Go away Akuma, I don't want you here.

But I'm always here, you can't escape me.

Please, leave me alone.

You know how to quiet me.

I don't want to, I have friends now.

Yes I know, friends you can't remember. If they really were your friends you wouldn't forgot them so easily.

Tha-that's not true! I'm working on it!

Are you though? You should have died when you jump off that bridge. You're too weak to be here.

I know.

Your friends are angry at you, they hate you.

I know.

You are a monster.

I know!

You will never be good enough and you know it!

I KNOW!

Then end it, now.

I reached into a drawer next to my bed, grabbed a small blade and pulled back my bandages. Cut.

Finally you listen for once in your pathetic life.

Cut
Cut
Cut
The cuts got deeper and deeper. I don't want to do this, I don't want to go yet. My vision was starting to blur, I quickly grabbed my phone and clicked a random contact. I don't care who gets this text, I just need help.

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