Psych Ward Scriptures

would not be here

they told me "don't die with the music in you"

but what if i already felt dead?

would they tell me again that it's all in my head?

that i needed to shed the fear and the dread

holding me back year after year

wiping back tears

night after night

wondering why i can't end this plight

and fight for my life

when fighting has left me to despair

when i needed you most there was nobody there

nobody cared

lacking the courage to end it all

was there something worthwhile overall?

there was not at the time

but time was confined

and defined by the illness itself

it had taken over

when all i could do was take cover

bed-ridden i would've given

just about anything

to feel something other than

an empty pit

inside wires crossed and tied

every morning waking up wishing i'd died

peacefully in my sleep

but maybe somewhere within, somewhere deep

i searched and found a reason to hang on

i wasn't necessarily strong

but vulnerable which is strong in a way

maybe not recognised enough

but i'm here today

not that things aren't rough

but so far i'm ok

and i know now 

it is ok if i'm not ok

and it's brave to speak up

even if it feels there is no love

find a sincere, listening ear

because if i hadn't then i.....