Just Talkin'

Stay

My heart aches as the realization hits me harder and harder. It seems like just yesterday you introduced yourself to the world, and now you're being taken away. It's unfair.

Why should you leave? You don't have to do military service, or you shouldn't have to.... why is it even required?

You and the boys work so much harder. You're not even the first to be leaving, but you're the one that'll impact me the most. Is this what military wives feel like? Is this what they go through?

Do they constantly watch the calendar and clock, counting down until the love of their life is taken away for a long time, not knowing if they'll return how they were before they left? Will they even return at all?

I don't know the first thing about Korean military. I can't tell you a single thing about what you'll be facing. I hope it's just training. I hope it's just boot camp and that's it. I don't know what South Korea is fighting currently, but I hope you take no part in it. God I hope you come back.

Come back to me! Don't leave me here wondering what happened to you... and Alice... she's going to be devastated when Yoongi leaves... he goes before you...

How can I keep myself together so I can take care of her when she shatters? I know she will, she's been keeping it together for far too long, and when the day comes and he leaves, can she rely on me to be strong? When about a year after he goes, you go? I don't think I have that type of strength.. I-I'm not strong enough to carry on without you here.. And if something ever happened to you... what would I do then?

How can ARMY stay together without RM?

What about me? How can I stay together without you?

It isn't fair... it isn't fair at all...

I keep hoping and praying that one day we'll hear that you and the boys are free from military enlistment, that you don't have to do it because you do so much as it is, but deep down I know that it isn't likely to happen... it's just a pretty dream...

As time grows nearer to Seokjin's departure in 2021, the colors of the world are fading... and when you go, there will be no color left... everything will be grey, and the only color I can see is your eyes, your skin, your hair... but all of that will remain in pictures, and what if I can't even see those?

My heart is being ripped from my body slowly and painfully. I can't fathom how much it hurts to know that I'll have to push through everyday as though you will still be here, but I'm not ready..

I don't know if I can handle it... what will become of Bangtan?.. I'm scared... so so scared...

Save me, save me...

I n-need your love before I fall...

F-fall....

*breaks down into a crying heap on the ground*