Just Talkin'

Aftermath

The girl lay clutching her pillow, silent tears cascading down her reddened cheeks. Her brown eyes were almost gray in sadness. Her heart hurting.

So much stress had been piled on top of her all at once, and she needed an outlet, someone to talk to in order to get it out or forget it entirely. She needed to be held and let all her frustrations subside. So she needed, and yet she was deprived.

And yet again she is deprived still, this time of a pleasant night.

She wasn't sure what had happened.

Earlier she was happy, her lover was happy; they joked and laughed and flirted with each other, saying things that never got acted upon. But the aftermath of silence leaves a huge impact in its wake.

Perhaps it is because she had spent a day in silence, unable to keep herself conscious and able to talk. Perhaps it is because she felt lonely, and had been thinking about the things she wanted to do to ease that loneliness and stress she had been feeling. All her worries, she was ecstatic to ease them away for a while.

But then there was nothing.

And then what followed, the storm that came so quick and swallowed them both up, it left her in silence once again. She felt consumed by the storm cloud.

She felt hurt, she felt frustrated, stressed, and she was slowly losing the ability to keep herself together. She began to wish she could be a monster, and commit a vile act only the worst of people do; perhaps if her lover had been anyone else she would've, but she was not a monster. She was a woman. And she loved her lover despite the things she was forced to give up, the feelings she was forced to push away.

She is confused, unsure of what happened and what she should do from here.

She has made her decision. She must apologize and take full blame. It is her fault after all.

It is always her fault.