Mechanical Heart

Chapter 15

So I gasped for air and closed my eye. My body was struggling to move, I was struggling. I was choking on these unspoken words, these hidden feelings. I edged my body forward. I needed closure, I needed a brick wall to stop me, to barricade me. These weeks are just not working out, like it's not because Xavier isn't here. I love him but I'm not that desperate. It's different. It's these little things that are eating me up. These little little things, my veins stood and my dreams flustered. These words were tying me down, they were chains around me. Every time a person says something an extra pound of chains are added. I'm just being dragged down. Down and down until my world would eventually spiral downwards and collapse. They cornered every thing I did, a critique of my every move, And I do not know anymore. My body trembled. I just kept on pushing myself forward, I felt multiple hands trying to push me down, multiple pairs of eyes eying me, giggling and mocking me. Daring me to jump. And boy would I jump. My converse was midway, my heels were on the edge but my toes were on air. I was in between the two realms, the two realms that we have known it to be life and death. Yet are those the actual names? You see in my head it's not life and death but it's more disaster and fear. Disaster is the world we live in and fear is the world we are afraid to live in, because we do not know. That's our reason that we reject most things, mainly because we do not know. And you know what? We never will. However I intend to find out. And find out I shall. I pushed my body forward.

Derek's Pov.

I saw her on the edge of the building and I ran towards her. She was mumbling to herself cradling herself with her words. Her body angled diagonally and began to tilt. I rammed my arms around her waist and pulled her back forcefully in reality. She fell on top of me, I could feel her body on me. She was trembling, distressed. I held her tight, because I knew if I let her go, she would too. There was no doubt. Her quick flustered breathe finally paced itself into a slow rhythemized beats. She had collapsed. I grabbed her, hooking an arm under her knees and I kept the other hand hooked around her neck. I hurried to the nurse room.

"I've gotcha." I whispered.

I did get her. Now I'm not letting go even if we were just going to be friends.

Xavier's P.O.V

My phone vibrated and my eyes slowly cranked open. I scratched my head then reached for my phone. I answered and brought the device up to my ear.

"Hello?" I groaned when the sunlight pierced my bedroom.

"Xavi. It's Kar." Derek huffed.

"What happened?" I sat upright now.

"She tried to jump. Her depression has come back strong."

"Where is she? Can I talk to her? Is she okay? How is she?"

"Slow down cowboy. She is in the nurse room she had a panic attack right after I pulled her off the edge. She is fine just troubled. She is I suppose emotionally scarred. You can't talk to her right this moment, cause she's well asleep. But I wanted you to know."

"Thank you, Thank you Derek. I'm so grateful. Thank you." I mumbled.

"You better be." I could feel him smirking on the other end.

"I'm only going to say it once." I smirked.

"How's it going there? We haven't spoken since you left." He growled.

"Well buddy you gotta keep in touch. It's some tough shit though. Like I mean this is a whole new level." I laughed.

"Why do I have to keep in touch? You should do it! No shit Sherlock, it is college."

"I figured, since I already got in and you didn't yet. Aight then I'll keep in touch wouldn't want to ruin your reputation." I chuckled.

"Count your days Xavier, count your days. I'll be there soon enough."

"What!?" I gagged surprised.

"I decided to stick with you and Kar, so I applied to the same place. Don't miss me too much alright, lover boy." He was grinning.

"I won't." I rolled my eyes. "Listen I gotta get ready I have class in 10."

"Ah, college boy living the life."

"Oh shut up."

"Bye."

"Oh and dude? Thanks."

"Anytime." His voice was calm.

He hung up and I made my way to the toilet. I hope she'll be fine. I brushed my teeth and stared hard at the mirror. Well today was going to be a long day, somehow I just felt it. Guess what? It was. A long day, a very long one.

Karita's POV.

I trudged my way into my bedroom, I didn't see the big deal. I mean I was saved in the end so what's the big fuss. I threw open my laptop and scrolled through my messages. A message from Xavier just popped up on me screen.

'Don't you ever try to leave me like that again.'

I stared until I felt my eyes bulge, how did he find out? The next message however made me gulp.

'We need to talk.'

Great. Just great.