Born to rule ('Born to be a slave' sequel)

52

I looked forward at the dark, muddy forest floor, it felt almost as if the ground had taken away the strong courage I had a few days before. Devoid of light and life it was, the seed of fear was implanted in my heart. Fear of the unknown, getting lost or starving of hunger haunted my thoughts. I remember it so vividly, I was scared, lost in darkness. It's been so long and I feel that the world has forgotten about my existence, just like Joseph's. Nonetheless, I am determined to get back home. Such a small obstacle could not make me change my mind.

The same way as on the day I arrived, the forest looked deathly. It's dry though, most of the water is gone and I am free to go, finally.

Joseph stands behind me to say the last words, a 'goodbye' which none of us wants to voice. I will miss him and I think he will miss the company of someone even more. Too old and weak he can not escort me nor he really wishes. He wants to stay here to meet his last days.

"Damn! Here, take these..." He gave me a linen bag. "I prepared something for you to eat. Who knows how long it will be until you reach civilization."

"Thank you!"

I peaked inside. There were potatoes, few apples, nuts he had collected himself. It surprised me how he could find food in this overgrown meadow and forest. I could see only grass and trees.

"Go forward, past the oak tree until you reach a dirty road. It should lead to Shire if I remember correctly. Either way, at some point you might meet another person."

Joseph's face looked gloomy, the eyes did not hold the usual energy as well as his smile which you could see through his bushy mustaches. Today he did not smile.

I walked up to his old, fragile form, looked in his cloudy eyes and smiled.

"I will come back, Joseph. And... bring Richard with me. I promise..."

He grimaced his wrinkly face in a forced smile. I knew his heart aches the same way as mine, but none of us can be happy just standing in the middle of nowhere and do nothing.

I hugged my old friend and waved the last goodbye.

His slim body slowly faded away behind the tall grass, taking his existence in its secrecy and be hidden from the eyes of others.

In front of me stood the big oak tree, I remember it waved his strong branches on windy days as if saying and showing me which way to go. I walked by it and deeper into the forest until I could not see any reminders of the memories for the last two months lived in here. The path ahead of me was overgrown with leafy plants and further away the dead forest sealed the way to my safety.

The light could barely squeeze through the thick, old branches. I was starting to feel afraid, even though no one was probably here - just the shadows and my own fear of unknown.

After a whole day of walking, I settled on the old fallen log. My torn dress was dirty again, my feet naked and muddy. Above all, I was terribly tired, hungry. I ate some bits from the bag Joseph gave me satisfying my hunger just enough to feel content. Who knows how many days are ahead of me?

Maybe I am lost?

As the dusk sets in I feel shivers overtake my body. I have only an old jacket for cover, but my legs are exposed, just a thin fabric shields it from the cool breeze.

"I will make it through." I say to myself. "I have to promise myself that I will bring my child to Edmund even if it is the last thing I do in my life."

My only solution for this moment is to curl tighter and wait for the morning. I shut my eyes in hopes not to see the scary shadows and creatures lurking nearby. In the small house Joseph lived in I felt safe, protected from the weather and elusive animals, but not here in the wild.

My tired body welcomed the sleep and I didn't even notice as I succumbed to my nightly dreams.

***

A small light peaked through the trees. Like a ray of hope, it sparked a new wave of energy through my body. I blinked a few more times to make sure it's not my imagination. How did I not see it yesterday?

Ahead of me, few hundred meters away I could see something that reminded a path or an old road. I collected my things and moved my cold feet in the direction of light. Anxiously I prayed that it leads to a city, that it is a road Joseph mentioned and will take me home. Upon expecting closer it  seemed not used for some time, there were no fresh footprints or any indication of a carriage taking this route. It meant only one thing... I am still far away.

With the defeated sigh I drop back on the ground, take a breath to fully awake. The chill air is still present and bites my skin. I wrap my hands around me to keep some warmth and depressing thoughts began to invade my heart.

An unnoticeable tear rolls down my cheek, then another one and another.  My heart breaks thinking about all the things and people ruining my life, denying me the happiness I long for. Just a small piece of it would be enough, just for a short moment be free of worries. I sit so much to ask? Do I deserve all these nasty obstacles put in my way?

Haven't I gone through suffering enough already?

"I want to go home... home..., please..." I cry in my palms.

I wish to stay strong for my loved ones, but for how much longer will I last?