Born to rule ('Born to be a slave' sequel)

38

My husband looked at me from above, his pale eyes full of arrogance.

"Am I not allowed to do what I want?"

The prideful tone of his voice hurt me deep inside, but I backed it off, tried to ignore my displeasure.

"It's not like I am drinking every day. You should try too."

He swiped his thumb over the edge of my jaw. I was confused hearing Edmund utter such suggestion.

"What is wrong with you?" I stepped back. "It's like I am facing a completely different man!"

I heard him take a deep breath, a little shaky it felt.

"Violet! More wine to my room!" His voice boomed through the halls.

Taking the last glance at me he slowly walked in direction of our room. Edmund's steps were heavy and he could barely walk in straight line.

"Edmund! Don't ignore me! What is going on?"

My heart broke seeing him in such state I have never laid my eyes upon. Why was he staying silent? I hated so much, when he closed off and kept all his burdens and problems to himself.

I followed him, getting frustrated more and more for his childish behaviour. Violet rushed in with a tray, wine and glass. She looked as much troubled like everyone else.

"Don't!"

"B... but my lord..."

"He does not need to drink more I will take care of him, don't worry."

"As you wish, my lady."

She disappeared before giving me an unsure glance.

I followed him feeling unsure, little bit afraid. I didn't know what to expect. What if he hurts me? With throbbing in my heart I opened the bedroom door and saw Edmund staring out the window. His one hand was holding on to the wall as if that extra support is everything he has before he looses the earth under his feet.

"Where is my wine?" His voice was full with anger and frustration.

I wanted to caress him and calm him, show my support and understanding, but at the same time I was afraid to go near my husband.

"Wine is not going to help you." I tried to keep my voice calm and quiet. "Why are you so angry? What is happening?"

"Everything. Everyone is making me angry. Especially him. I want to end his damn life!"

The cruelness in his words shook my heart.

"Also it's a wonder you chose to pay some attention to me."

Edmund finally turned to face me. The deep stare made me loose my breath. I could not read his expression, but one thing in his demeanor was clear, that anger was bubbling within him like never before.

"What? It is you who is never home. I should be angry for the fact you have left me all by myself!"

"Your friends have taken you away from me. Deceiving witches. Do you know why some of them are here, in this house, constantly seeking your company?"

"You don't know them so stop talking nonsense."

For a moment my insides turned upside down thinking about possible betrayal, if that's what Edmund is hinting about.

"They should learn some self respect, if they want to portray themselves as high class ladies."

"Whores! I am glad you are not like them."

He came right at me and I  had no time to react. His lips traced over mine, just barely and then he landed a rough kiss on my neck. Edmund hold on me was strong, I felt trapped in his hands. This was the last moment I wanted to be intimate with him.

The way he called my friends, the venom in his voice hurt me deeply. At the moment he loosened his grip I pushed him away and my palm landed strongly against his cheek.

The room went silent. My palm was burning and I was anxiously waiting for the worst to come.

He rubbed his cheek and glanced at me through his forehead and loose strands of hair. I was afraid to say something, knowing my voice will be wavering. It took another moment to collect myself and tell him what I think.

"If you are planning to continue to act this way, I will not want to see or be beside you. Understand? Stop behaving like a child and pull yourself together!"

Before I left he said silently. "Did I do the right thing by marrying you? Taking you and myself back in this world?"

I shut the door not wanting to hear more. I don't know what he meant exactly, but it hurt me deeply. This day was a nightmare. He spoke of my friends, like they meant nothing, as if the girls had  offended him in any way. And myself? Did I mean nothing to him or is this just a phase he will get out of, when he sobers up?

I found a quiet room, locked myself in and let my emotions free. My heart felt heavy with the bitter feelings and today's experiences all together. The slave girls and Edmund... It felt too much for one day. One by one the tears were falling untill I could not see the thing in front of me. The blurred out up walls and paintings turned in unrecognisable forms in front of my eyes.

As always my mind tried to find the answer to why my life is so hard? Even after changing the classes I still feel the same and there seems to be no end to my problems. For once in my life I want the calmness of the daily life that some common people experience. Will I ever get to experience it? Be happy and carefree with no worry in the world?

Such unattainable dream...
But I do not plan to give up yet. I still have hope that someday I will be granted this gift I have wished forever.
And I hope Edmund will be beside me when it happens. I wish to share my happiness with him.