badbye

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She didn't reply to any of my texts

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She didn't reply to any of my texts. She don't even bother to pick up my calls. I've been waiting, waiting patiently for one hours, two hours, five hours. I can even find myself counting every seconds I've passed by sitting on the couch alone, waiting for her to come home.

1AM.
Exactly at 1AM she came back home, looking all messed.

"Where were you? Why you didn't pick up my calls?! Do you have any idea how worried I was?" I can't help myself but flooding her with questions. I was worried sick.

"Oh?! Looks who's here? The infamous BTS leader. Kim Namjoon." She slurred, all wasted.

"You're drunk. Why you even drink up so much?" I was reaching out to hold her and help like I usually do but to my surprise, she pulled away herself from me.

"Don't touch me! Don't act like we're still together, Namjoon. Why are you even here?" She continue and I froze on my spot.

I've seen this coming, she's been killing me softly, I just refused to believe it.

"Don't say something like that, please. We can work it out. Please." I begged. I don't wanna lose her. No.

"I've cheated on you. I lied to you. I don't love you anymore! Do you need to hear all of this so you will stop? Don't be so pathetic!" I wish that she was crying, that she's showing a little mercy on me. That she was actually lying.

But I know her well. She can't lie when she's drunk.

I know it well that she didn't lie right now.

"Stop lying." Yet, I decided to lie to myself. "Stop doing all of this. I apologize for my busy schedule, for not being there for you. But I do all of this for you too, please stop pushing me away." Why I'm so pathetic?

"You know me well that I'm not lying right now, Namjoon. Please be honest to yourself! I'm not your girlfriend anymore! Please move on! Good bye Namjoon!" and with that she walk passed through me, purposely bumping on my arms.

"Don't say good bye." my words came out as whispers but I know she heard it because she halted on her way. "Because it's a lie. Tell me it's a lie." I increased my voice and turn to her.

Doesn't care if she will see my tears.
Doesn't care if she will see how pathetic I am.
Doesn't care if I lose everything but her.

"No, Namjoon." She turned to me, looking all serious.

She's right, She's no longer the 'her' I know. She's not my 'her' anymore. "Accept this. You know what I've done. Stop torturing your heart. I'm no good for you. It's not a lie, I'll say it one more time. I don't love you anymore. I'm sorry."

She kill me, she kill me softly.
No matter how hard I try, I'll cry.

What a bad try
And I cry
You know why
It's my badbye.

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