Red Dead Redemption II Preferences and Oneshots

Micah Bell: Depression

A surprised gasp left your lips when Micah suddenly grabbed your hand, holding it up as he quickly pushed your sleeve up to your elbow. Your eyes widened as his gaze landed on the scars that scattered your arms.

"Micah, what the fuck?" you hissed at him, trying to sound threatened but your voice shook, you sounded more scared than angry. You pulled your arm back, thankfully Micah's grip was loose due to his shook, you could only stare at the man with wide eyes.

"Come on, Y/N. These aren't deep enough to kill you, y'know that. Why did you do it?" Micah asked and your eyes only widened some more. What type of question was that? How were you suppose to answer that?

"...to distract myself" you mumbled as you pulled your sleeve back down, staring down at the table. You were too ashamed to look him in the eyes.

"What?" Micah asked, his stare burning holes into the side of your head.

"You don't understand, Micah. I get it, you think I'm weak, I can't even handle my own goddamn mind. You don't have to rub it in" you snapped slightly as you stood up, still not looking at him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked as he stood up, his stare still intense on you.

"I am in pain every goddamn day. I can't even remember the last time I was genuinely happy, properly happy. I'm just numb and this...it makes me feel something! I just...I don't even know why I'm telling you this, you don't care" you sighed, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes.

You just turned and hurried away, not giving him any time to speak again. You were so embarrassed, could you even face him again? You definitely couldn't continue drinking with him, you would probably start avoiding him completely. You knew that Micah was an ass-hole but he had never really done anything to you directly, you were pretty sure that he was going to mock you for this.

Even Micah could tell that you were embarrassed and ashamed, he saw it in your eyes. The way that you looked at him before staring at the table, the way that you couldn't meet his gaze. He knew that he could have handled that better.

-----

Micah just couldn't stop thinking about you and the scars that he saw on your arm, he couldn't explain why but he couldn't get it off of his mind.

It was pretty late at night and everybody was asleep, unless they were on guard duty. Micah looked around the camp until he saw you sitting just outside of the camp. You had been avoiding him ever since he saw your scars but he wasn't going to allow that.

You were sitting on the ground by the cliff edge, your legs crossed under you as you looked out over the water. You lost yourself in your own thoughts, enjoying the feeling of the breeze blowing through your hair.

"What are you thinking about?" Micah asked blankly as he stood just behind you. You jumped a little when you heard his voice but didn't turn to look at him, you still couldn't meet his gaze.

"Not what you're thinking" you mumbled, your voice sounding a little bitter.

"Have you ever thought about it before?" Micah asked as he sat down beside you, you were a little surprised by the softness to his voice. You had never heard Micah speak like that, a part of you resented him for it. You didn't want his pity.

"Just say what you mean, Micah. Don't start tip toeing around me" you muttered. Micah wasn't a kind or polite person, you didn't want him to change the way that he spoke to you because he felt bad for you.

"Have you ever thought about jumping?" he asked, turning his attention to you.

"...yes..." you told him honestly, your voice just above a whisper as you hung your head.