taste

49

phil rolled his eyes and groaned when a knock sounded at his door. he didn't exactly appreciate someone–who was probably his roommate who'd forgotten his key–interrupting his moping, but got up nonetheless. though when he opened the door, not only was he not expecting the person on the other side, but wished he had just pretended he was not there all together.

"we need to talk," dan howell said. it was obvious he's been crying by the red rimmed eyes and splotched cheeks. maybe phil wanted to console him just a little, but more than anything he wanted to slam the door shut and stay in his bed for weeks.

"no, we don't. goodbye." phil made the weakest attempt to shut the door; dan stuck his slipper-covered foot in the frame so it couldn't close. "dan, really, i can't talk about it. especially with you."

dan felt like he'd just taken an arrow to the heart at that statement, but he was angry with phil for leaving him in the dark. this wasn't fair and he couldn't take it anymore. he stormed inside, slamming the door behind him on accident, ready to give this confusing boy a piece of his mind.

"god, you are so frustrating! i'm trying to fucking fix something i didn't even know was wrong, and here you are blocking every attempt i make. why can't you just let me in?" dan wasn't sure if he meant to raise his voice or not, but hopefully it got the point across. he wants this fixed just the same as he wants phil in his life.

"how am i supposed to tell you that the absolute last thing i want to hear about is you being with someone else? that sometimes i fucking cry myself to sleep because i know that right after we hung out, you went to fuck some other guy? i can't just tell you to stop everything you're doing with those other guys because i want your attention all to myself!"

"you're fucking jealous?"

"yeah, i am, because i'm fucking–," phil cut himself off.

"why? because you haven't fucked me and you wish you had?" phil fumed at that question, fists clenching in an unbelievable amount of rage and frustration. he couldn't keep himself calm anymore no matter how hard he tried.

"jesus, dan! i'm fucking in love with you!"

time seemed to stop for a couple minutes while dan tried to put the pieces together of what exactly was going on. he swallowed thickly and took a step closer to the nervous boy in front of him, staring at his lips the entire time.

"you what?"

phil's mouth was open and his breathing heavy as he managed to say: "i can never get you off my mind, like ever. i'm always wondering what you're doing and who you're with and why you aren't with me instead. i love you, dan, and i want you more than anything."

"prove it."