FireFly

Chapter Nine

If Connor was being honest, he wasn't jumping for joy over meeting Jared Kleinman. Sure they'd seen each other round school, thrown a couple of insults at each other here and there but they had never properly met.

Connor knew that Kleinman and Evan were friends, he'd seen them enough around school to know that much. Although he'd never quite grasped how close they were until Evan had texted Connor asking him to meet Kleinman so that he could give Connor the whole "best friend speech".

The long haired boy had agreed, albeit reluctantly, because he wanted Evan to be comfortable in their relationship and that included doing whatever made the blonde happy.

Apparently sucking up to Jared Kleinman made Evan happy.

And that's how he ended up round Evan's house, sitting patiently in the living room whilst Evan was outside talking to Jared, probably prepping him. Or warning him that Connor was a ticking time bomb but whatever.

Sooner than Connor would've liked, the front door swung open and Jared Kleinman came strutting in, chest puffed out and all, with Evan trailing shyly behind.

"C-Connor," Evan started, sitting down next to his boyfriend, "T-This is Jared, Jared this i-is Connor."

"Hey," The long haired boy said in a monotonous tone, with a slight inclination of his head.

Jared perched himself on the coffee table in the Hansen living room, a good distance away from the couple but still directly opposite them so that he was, well... intimidating.

"Murphy." He recognised.

"Jared-" Evan sighed.

"It's the formal greeting, Ev I don't make the rules."

Connor pursed his lips. It hadn't even been five minutes and he already knew he didn't like Kleinman. He was arrogant, rude and called Evan 'Ev' which, frankly, was just ridiculous! Evan is a two syllable name it didn't need shortened, how hard is it to say the two more letters? Also the blonde was his boyfriend so if anybody had the right to call Evan 'Ev' it would be him. But he wasn't going to do it, no, because it was stupid.

"It's okay, Hansen." Connor soothed, wrapping his arm round Evan's waist, "I know you don't like me, Kleinman." He aimed at Jared.

"Give me a fucking reason to like you and maybe I will." Jared replied, equally as cold.

Connor frowned, "What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means that I think you're a toxic arsehole who is just stringing Evan along for some sick game of yours!" He exclaimed, voice rising rapidly with each word. And boy, if that wasn't a massive punch in the gut to Connor. It was like this guy knew every single one of his insecurities and cast them all together to paint some pretty fucking little picture.

He suddenly stood up, too suddenly if that made sense. His brain had made the decision for him before his heart had the chance to think it through and so he towered over Jared, his brown/blue eyes were blazing dangerously and he knew for certain that if Kleinman didn't shut the fuck up right now then neither one of them were going to come out of this with Evan on their side.

Evan.

He snapped his gaze in his boyfriend's direction, who had given a faint "Connor!" In surprise when the boy in question stood up. The anxious boy was looking at him, those blue eyes glistening with unpermitted tears and something resembling fear that made Connor want to scream out in anguish.

Connor sighed, he sunk back down in his seat and ran a hand through his tangled hair. Why? Why did he always have to ruin everything? He'd made a terrible impression on Kleinman and worse than that, he'd upset Evan.

Maybe Kleinman was right, he didn't deserve Evan. He'd always known this, in a sick, twisted kind of way. He knew that it would only ever be a matter of time before Evan realised it too. That Connor wasn't going to make it, wasn't going to last, because let's face it, he wasn't exactly the proper starter boyfriend. Hell, he wasn't even sure he would a good second. Or third. Or any, for that matter.

He was toxic. And he was an arsehole. And everybody was right, in the most disgusting way possible. It wasn't even as if they'd somehow sabotaged him, Connor sabotaged himself time and time again.

He was broken. He knew this. He'd known this for a long time, for as long as he could remember. In fact, he couldn't remember a time where he didn't feel this way!

Worthless, embarrassed, pitied, a burden that nobody wants hanging around, all of these things he felt but yet he didn't feel anything at the same time. How did that even happen? How could one person have these emotions and feel every one of them but nothing all at once?

"You want me to give you a reason to like me," he started slowly to Jared, grasping Evan's hand in his own, "But I get the impression that I could give you hundreds and it still wouldn't be enough."

Jared shrugged, "You've hurt my friend." He explained, simply.

"I never meant to."

"That doesn't mean anything, you know it doesn't." He shrugged again, "I didn't mean for this to happen, Ev" he sighed, standing up, "But I can't do it. Not yet. See you tomorrow?"

Evan nodded, not even bothering to look up until Jared was out of the house and the door was closed behind him.

"I'm-" Connor began when he knew that they were alone.

"Sorry." Evan finished for him, playing with a loose thread on the sofa, "I k-know."

Connor bit his lip, he took Evan's face in his hands so that he had the blonde's complete and undivided attention, "I really, really like you, Hansen. This isn't some sick game to me, you know that, right?"

Evan sucked in a deep breath, "Promise?"

"I fucking swear to you."

Finally, the anxious boy cracked a smile and somehow that made all of Connor's doubts rush away. For now. He knew they'd come back but that was a problem to deal with later.

"I-I really, really l-like you too." Evan replied, laughing. "That w-went so badly."

"First impressions are overrated." Connor shrugged.

Evan laughed again and Connor knew in that moment that he was going to do whatever it took to keep Evan Hansen laughing like that.

Even if it did mean sucking up to Jared Kleinman.

_____________

This actually got a bit more angst-y than I intended.

What do you think of Jared and Connor's meet???

Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Iris
Xoxo