Imaginary Lover // Camren Fanfiction

Chapter 28

A/N: I'm going on a vacation this Friday, so I am going to try to upload all the chapters that I already have written, 

later loves!

Lauren sat at the glass table in the spotless kitchen, surrounded by gleaming granite work tops, polished walnut cupboards, ands hining marble tiles. She had just had a cleaning frenzy and her mind still wasn't clear. Every time the phone rang, she leaped at it, thinking it was Taylor, but it was Edith checking up on Luke. She still hadn't heard from her sister, her father was still waiting in her old bedroom for her mother; sitting, eating, and sleeping in the same chair for almost two weeks now.

He wouldn't speak to Lauren, wouldn't even let her come as far as the front door, so she had arranged for a housekeeper to call around to cook him a meal a day, and tidy up now and then. Some days he let her in, others he didn't. The young man who worked with her father on his farm had taken over all the duties. This was costing Lauren money she couldn't afford, but there was nothing else she could do. She couldn't help the only two members of her family if they didn't want to be helped. And she wondered for the first time if she had something in common with them after all.

They had all grown up together but separately and still they stayed together in the same town. They hadn't much communication with one another but when somebody left . . . well, it mattered. They were tied together by an old and fraying rope that ended up being the object of tug-of-war.

Lauren couldn't bring herself to tell Luke what was going on, but of course he knew there was something. Camila was right, children had a sixth sense for that kind of thing. He was such a good child that as soon as he sensed Lauren's sadness, he knew to retreat into the playroom and she would hear the quiet clatter of building blocks. She couldn't bring herself to say more to him than to tell him to wash his hands, fix his speech, and order him to stop dragging his feet.

She wasn't capable of holding her arms out to him.

Her lips couldn't form the words "I love you," though she tried in her own ways to make him
feel safe and wanted. But she knew what he really wanted. She had been in his position, knew what it was like to want to be held, cuddled, kissed on the
forehead, and rocked. To be made to feel safe for just a few minutes at least, to know that someone else was there looking out for you and that life wasn't just in your own hands—you weren't stuck living it all alone in your head.

Camila had provided her with a few of those moments over the past few weeks. He had kissed her on the forehead and rocked her to sleep and she
had fallen asleep not feeling alone, not feeling the urge to look out the window and search beyond for someone else. Camila, sweet, sweet Camila was
shrouded in mystery. She had never known anyone else who could help her realize just exactly who she was, help her find her feet. But she was struck
by the irony that this woman who jokingly spoke of invisibility actually did wear a cloak of invisibility.

She didn't know herself, where she came from, where she was going, who she was. She was putting her on a map, showing her the way, yet she had no idea where she was going herself. She liked to speak of her problems, help heal her, help fix her, and he never once spoke of her own. It was as though she was a distraction to her and she wondered what would happen when the distraction ended and the realization would dawn. She got a sense that their time together was valuable, as though she needed to hold on to every minute as if it were their last.

She was too good to be true, every moment spent with her magical, so much so that she presumed this couldn't last forever. None of her good feelings had lasted forever, none of the people who lightened her life managed to stay. Going by her previous luck, from pure fear of not wanting to lose something so special, she was just waiting for the day she would leave. Whoever she was, she was healing her, she was teaching her to smile, teaching her to laugh, and she wondered what she could teach her.