The Inside Scoop (Kacchako Fanfic)

Hormonal Catastrophe

I pull away from Ochako and look into those deep brown eyes. Then I study the rest of her face. She's so beautiful, it's irritating.

To display this, I let out a grunt as I walk over to our entertainment center. Okay, it's really just a flat screen with an Android box, a DVD player, and a PlayStation. But all those things are very entertaining.

I see her head toward our bedroom from the corner of my eye. She probably wants to get out of her work attire. Sure it looks cute stretched over her belly, but it must be suffocating. My eyes scan the remote for the power button.

Why the hell are there  so many damn buttons? Will I even ever use half of these? No. No I won't.

Technology pisses me off.

Ah, there it is in the upper corner. I press the green rubber bump and the TV screen comes to life. I switch the source to the Android box as my wife shuffles back into the room.

I bite my lip, trying to hold in the laughter. I fail miserably as I giggle at her appearance. She stares at me in annoyance and unamusement.

"Can I help you?" She asks dryly.

I look her over. She's kidding me right? She's wearing a mint colored face mask, a heating pad that she tied to her back with a bunch of shoelaces (seriously, where did she get those? I'm inspecting all my shoes before I go to bed), a hot towel around her neck, a tank top and shorts that are much too small for her new body, and wait, are those pieces of my memory foam pillow stuffed in her slippers?

"Babe, what are you doing? And please tell me I'm gonna go to bed and my pillow will still be there." I tease. Sort of. I really hope I still have a pillow.

She scowls at me. Whoa. She looks like the Wicked Witch of the West with that mask on.

"I've looked like this every afternoon for the past two weeks Katsuki. You've just been too busy with work to notice." She growls.

What the frigg? I swear she was head over heels for me like, ten minutes ago. Why'd she start complaining about my work? No duh I work during the afternoon! I'm only home because it's Saturday and there's been no calls. She's a hero, she knows what it's like!

"You don't have to get all snippy with me," I grumble. "And of course I work during the afternoons, that's pretty normal smart alek."

She throws me another look. This one conveys the desire to murder me. I don't appreciate that.

"Ochako, If you have a problem with my work schedule, I'll switch to night patrols. But I don't appreciate your out of the blue, accusations." I say through clenched teeth. I'm doing my best to control my temper.

She gives me a "hmph" before turning on the balls of her feet and plopping on the couch.

"I'm just stating facts Katsuki," she sniffs. "I've been pregnant for four months and you haven't noticed. I found out three months ago, but you've been so busy I couldn't even find a good time to tell you until today!" She says, suddenly bursting into tears.

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?! Has she lost her dangone mind? One moment she's happy, then angry, then sad and-

Wow, aren't I a smart one. Mood swings, of course. Oh my Lord, I never thought they'd be this bad. Damn it, this is what I gotta deal with for five more months?

AND WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE! SHE'S KNOWN FOR THREE STINKING MONTHS? Why the hell would she decide, "hmm, I'm going to push a human being out in a few months and it's going to radically change both my life and the life of my spouse. I better keep this to myself."