KALICO: 1 Hypnotized, Naked in Hope Springs, Texas

Kalico: Surprise Posthypnotic Practice

Kalico: 9 a.m. Tuesday after volleyball practice

Shunning our chance to shower with our big, hairy naked man of a coach, several of us agreed to meet later at The Glory Hole for some general team spirit stuff. 

Coach Ainsworth wasn't actually naked, but that was the offer on the table. I took it to be either his way of teasing the girls or an attempt to accelerate team bonding. Maybe both.

I think we should have called his bluff and stayed in the locker room long enough to see if he was actually going to take a shower in front of a bunch of girls. Yet, somehow, I ended up leaving with the others, because I did have some legitimate issues on my mind to distract me.

I suspected that one of the topics for discussion at The Glory Hole would be "How are we going to change into our new uniforms tomorrow with the coach right there with us?" However, I couldn't go to the Hole right away because of my meeting scheduled with Mr. Coltwright up in Room 303.

Moreover, I had a nagging issue I couldn't quite define that I needed to discuss with Principal Watson

In addition, I kept thinking I needed to talk over something serious with Mom, but at that moment I couldn't remember what it was we need to talk about. Probably something to do with school uniforms – or whatever I was supposed to have asked her last night, but I missed her because she was out so late.

A thought crossed my mind – Does Mom have a boyfriend she hasn't told us about? Hmm? She was out very late; so way later than a conference about Madison's writing class should require.

With those kinds of thoughts in my head, I said goodbye to my new teammates and headed for the back staircase and Room 303 while the others went for the Glory Hole.

Here comes a part that is strange to tell about, and I don't have a real good explanation for it anyway; I'll simply type it as best I can remember and reserve judgment until later.

As I was saying bye to the other girls, I turned toward the rear entrance to the main building and the funniest, strange thought popped into my head. I nearly giggled over it. I had this odd memory of yesterday; remembering how I had thought about needing to pee when I walked in the direction of the third floor hallway.

Since I'm a scientifically minded person, I allowed that thought for a moment, and wondered about it. And continued on my way, walking very slowly – and I noticed that I had made a point to step on every riser of every set of steps on the way, even the curb and each of the cement steps at the back door. I usually take stairs by bounding up two steps at a time.

Moreover, that idea, the words "step by step," seemed amusing to me. When I reached about the third step, I realized that my need to pee had grown stronger. "Walk slowly, take each step carefully, one step at a time," I told myself. Nevertheless, with each step, the urge to pee grew stronger, so I decided maybe I should forget the game of slowly climbing the steps and get on upstairs in a bigger hurry.

I won't bore you with how I felt on each step along the way. By the 10th step, I had abandoned the idea of walking slowly. By the 15th step, I realized there would be no putting it off – I would need to pee very soon. By the 17th step I realized that if I didn't hurry very fast, I might be peeing in my shorts before I even reached the third floor.

Just accept that I was in a full-bore run toward the third floor boys' restroom door by the time I passed the second floor. Just like yesterday. Make that, running even faster than yesterday.

As I pulled open the restroom door – I glanced over my shoulder. Mr. Coltwright was sitting at his desk – smiling. I guess my running had made enough noise to tell him I was on the way. I think I felt my jaw drop in surprise as I realized he was expecting this behavior.